From the corners of my mind

I close my eyes and remember the last time I - Smelt flowers , had my hands smeared in paint, Went for a walk , Cooked , Hugged someone special , listened to some really nice jazz , painted my toe nails , caught up on celeb gossip , read a nice book , made weekend plans , lay in bed just looking at the trees outside my window, teared up in my yoga class out of sheer exhaustion and went running outdoors.

I remember the everyday small things that made me smile so much - like smelling petrol while filling my car, watching leaves flutter against my window - much like old memories stopping by to say hello or running away from the spirited south georgia thunderstorms and grinning while dusting the mischievous raindrops away.

I remember the calculated trips from my car to my home post an excitable grocery shopping trip - trying desperately to carry all the bags in at one time .. the inspiration that came from ordinary miracles .. like selecting some really good tomatoes, peeling an orange, sitting on the carpet exhausted in the middle of a house cleaning bootcamp, reading a book while the washer-dryer worked their charm and filled the house with the sweet smell of Bounce ..or just looking out of the window at the skies while coffee brewed in silence.

I remember how warm sunshine felt on lazy sunday mornings when I washed my car, the occasional red birds that would stop by to socialize, the rumbling train outside my porch - that travelled so far to culminate in the 4 seconds it would pass through marietta, the smell of books in borders and the magic that lay in just looking outside my office window at the sea of hope that was stuck in rush hour traffic on 285.

I remember.

They say that a memory is what is left - when something happens .. and then it doesn't completely unhappen.Thousands of miles away from the place - that once scared me , then loved me and in the end defined me .. I wonder.

I wonder if these memories will keep coming back to me forever. I wonder if one day - I will exhaust all of them and there wont be any left to spare. I wonder how all the new faces I see will recognize me unless they know who I was. I look at my sneakers each morning as I wear them and wonder if they know how many places they have been and how they've felt walking those many miles with me. I wonder.

But then again what makes life so wonderful I guess is The Hope - the hope that one year from now , I will be in some other strange place updating this very post about how I remember the hushed silence in the ISB atrium on a night that the stars seemed to be having a party...or the whirring of the air conditioner in my room as I updated my blog .. or the sound of peacocks as I lay in bed wishing for the sun to hold back for just a few more minutes of shut eye.

I guess I better get busy making some new ones.