Hello World !

My random titbits from this corner of the world -

1. This blog is like a dusty book in the library. Evevryone who touches it is a part of it. Its helped me come closer to people who are far only in distance, helped me get back in touch with long lost high school friends and brought me closer to friends I didnt know that I had.
I've held on to the world through it - and to be fair in most part the world has held me up through it. And other blogs too - Everytime I read Ragini's musings or Ruchi's mindshares or Ridima's poetry - it makes me realise that through their blogs, I've loved them and understood pieces of their lives and smiled and wept with them in a way that only writers and readers do. And somewhere in the spaces between their worlds and mine - our thoughts, ideas, dreams all merge into one. Thank God for Blogspot!

2. I read something today that said " I wonder why human beings neglect their health for money - only to later spend their money on health"
Hmm makes me feel guilty of all those times that I loaded up on caffeine night after night

3. I miss the fall. Its weird how much something as intangible as weather becomes a part of your life. If someone could post me a bright red autumn leaf - I'd plant a tree of hope with it.

4. I'm ending rambling spree on this very late october night with one of my all time favorite quotes from god alone where - I've thought about it time and again - especially here at the ISB where everything collides and days seem longer and crazier than years before ...that life over here is like duct tape ..it has a dark side ..and a light side ..and in its own twisted way ..it holds my world together !

Good Night Cyberworld
Tomorrow we rise and smile again!

Tonight

On nights like these when the moon is yellow
The wind is quiet and my heart is mellow
My gaze scans the twinkling sky
and my heart skips at every passer-by

My footsteps sound like a lingering tune
in search of a melody that got over too soon
The shadows tease me as I find my way
and bring back remnants of yesterday

But even though the stars promise nothing more
Hope fills my heart and makes my spirit soar
I wait for you in silence as morning draws near
The beautiful anguish of an unshed tear

Aaaj Idhaar Abhi

Time is running - Its two steps ahead of me on the treadmill and otherwise.
I want to be like water - flow through the cracks and fill everything up..so there are no empty spaces. I''m in love. Madly. Deeply. Crazily. With Life.

I am here because of every twisted road, every wrong turn, every second guess that I made in my life. And I find that I am in the place that I need to be in the most.

In April - I moved into this very room - but 6 months later what I see outside the window is very different. I've seen the trees outside shiver in the rains,quiver in the sunshine and glisten in the moonlight. They are my friends. And I've stood under them talking to me other friends. Empty Courtyards scare me no more- there are but remnants of happy memories and laughter.
When the sun shines through the curtains- I want to shout back at him! And when I go to bed at night - I am tempted to keep waking myself up and saying - no its not a dream. Its real. Not it wasnt easy. But I'm glad I did it. Yes I have scars. I'll wear them like medals.

Have you ever been at the point where you are so happy its almost scary - because you keep wondering ke what if sadness is around the corner. I'm at that point and more.
Every moment is a prayer,a gift, a love story and a lifetime.

I dont know if this is the best of times or the worst of times. But like all good literature says - Its the only freaking time I've got. So I've got a mission. I want to dance. And I want to sing in the bathroom too. I want to paint my toenails blue and do the mexican wave. I want to light candles and blow them out just to see whispers of smoke where my wishes were. I want to dance in the rain and blow soap bubbles.

I know the secret.
Life my friends - is free.
And I am Free Falling.
Amen !

Stay Hungry Stay Foolish

Life is big.

Its bigger that we think and has more dimensions than fathomable.

This past week in Bombay - I was 16 all over again. In love with the city and life and utterly blissfully happy. On Saturday night as I boarded a Andheri Fast train and saw the changing face of the city and lights twinkling across the suburbian utopia that bombay has come to symbolize, I smiled. The kind of smile that I will remember in the hard times to come.

It made me think of what a journey that this year has been.

One life. Mine

One city. Take a pick

One day. Many stories

One year. Much Love

.

I once read that Life is a chance to grow a soul. That is half the explanation for the ups and downs and heart aches and war cries. The remaining half - I think we just have to figure out somewhere alone the way. My story this year has been about grabbing each moment and living it to the fullest. Because god alone knows what the next one might bring. The reality is that we never get to chose how, when, why certain things happen, the only meaningful choice that we have is how to live now.. not the next minute or moment. Just "now". Sometimes there are smiles and sometimes there are tears, but time outweighs most moments. Even John Mitchell spent years looking at clouds and concluded that even after looking at life from both sides, he didnt know life at all.

I'm just an amateur trying to get through the day so I can look at the stars.

Sometimes I have to eat spinach and broccoli and sometimes I get to eat ice cream.

And even when things seem limitless - the reality is that its all finite. Theres just a few moments in my entire life that I am going to feel a particular way or do a specific thing - like post a sad blog post, or watch the sun set or see a butterfly inside the library and wonder how to got there.

So I keep walking.

This year is special.
For all the gut wrenching brain busting battles, for all the personal sagas and milestones, for all the friends who have time and again poured in with the shoulder pats and the shake me ups. For holding me and holding on.
For the phonecalls that have been more comforting than hugs. For the hugs that have glued the pieces of my heart together and for the hands that have waved my hand back at life.
I am thankful

Utterly, Hopelessly and Foolishly

Thank God I have enough.

Snapshot

Time : 10.12 pm
Date : 1st October 2007
Place: Library, ISB Campus, Hyderabad
Weather: Overcast, Gloomy, 100% Chance of tears
Tonights Forecast : Not looking too good
Tomorrow : At this point - doesnt really matter
Whats playing: Keith Urban - You;ll think of me
Whats on my mind: Was I supposed to be here - Was this how my life was meant to turn out ? ..would knowing how things could have actually been make me feel worse or better ?
What I need: A hug maybe
What I dont need: is to be sitting here all alone
What I want: An ice cream maybe
What it takes: I have no clue - but between now and then, I plan on finding out
Amen