Bye Bye Blackbird

Mark Twain once wrote about what a harmless little insititution "New Year Day" was. He said that at the stroke of midnight we will have all smoked our last cigar, gulped our last drink and would have turned into exemplary social citizens. And yet in less than thirty days, we would go back to our old habits and our old ways and laugh about it.

Still undoubtedly, most of us will admit that on this last night of the year, we have thoughts far different from those on every other moonless soiree.

Some of us are glad that the year is ending, the others are glad that the new year is coming and the rest of us - are undecided.

For we are far too aware - that inorder to embrace the new, we will have to let go of the old and this process is not quite as painless as we would like to deem it to be. Yet, we long for this passage of right and there is no other option but to let the clock tick these last few minutes of the year.

Personally, I think New Years night is the only time of the year when I can understand what Alanis meant when she sang "I'm drunk but I'm sober"

Its just something about the night.

No matter where you are, happy or sad, wistful or cheery, with family or friends or alone or ....all of the above which I usually feel when the clock strikes twelve, you've got to sit up and mark the passage of time.

And after we do - we shall meet once again, in the new year.

Same place, same time, same us but a little bit different.

Until then from my heart to yours, much metta.

2008: An Obituary

She went her unremembering way,

She went and left in me

The pang of all the partings gone,

And partings yet to be.~Francis Thompson

2008 started for me on a Bombay - Hybad Spicejet flight.

It was 1st of January and I was heading back to ISB. I remember looking out of the window on that flight wondering what was it that the year would have in store for me. For all the dramatic thoughts that passed my mind then. ranging from the devastating to the deliriously happy, I neednt have worried.

2008 was a year when I was just passing through.
Its not that the year did not have milestones.
Afterall - I graduated from an MBA program marking the culmination of years of buildup and sacrifices but I also struggled to find a job of choice in Bombay.
Afterall- I moved back to Bombay marking the end of a long journey and years of introspection and soul searching but I also struggled to settle down and call it home once again.

So above all - it was a year marked by much murkiness, balancing acts and hard decisions. But it was also a year in which laughter came easily, tears far too easily. Promises were made and broken and lots of growing up and facing the facts happened. But there were good times and good friends, travels and adventures in a life only as fortunate as mine.

But in the story of my life, 2008 was the year when I decided that I had to stand up for myself and my way of life ..and it was also the year that I realised that making the aforementioned decision also meant that I had to take a responsibility for what happened as well.

Unarguably, it was exhausting at times as it was enjoyable, but above all things ..2008 was a year of extraordinary friendships and self discovery.

So as the year draws to an end - Here is what I learnt the not so easy way in 2008.
I've learnt that ..
1. Its not possible to be friends with someone I cannot trust. It just doesnt work.
2. Weight training 5 days a week guarantees weight loss - it takes time but it works ..
3. Post -Banana Nut Crunch Cereal and cold milk is the best way to celebrate the end of a long difficult day
4. I've got to learn the take responsibility for 100% of my problems. 30 years of saying "it takes two to tango" and shared responsibility have not gotten me anywhere.
5. There are people who can me me cry sometimes..but I am the only person who can make myself laugh anytime. And there is great comfort in that...
6. Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better
7. I believe in tarot cards
8. Butterflies are a great source of comfort. They were once caterpillars who had to endure months of painful transition to earn the right to fly.
9. I dont take my personal security for granted anymore.
10. Its possible for someone to do something in an instant that can cause me heartache for life
11. I've learnt that "Love in the time of Cholera" has a quotable quote for every story in my life so far
12. I've learnt that asking people what kind of dog would they keep as a pet and why and what is their favorite book and why are killer questions to learn something relevant about them quickly
13. I have to invest in my health right now ..
14. I have to learn to trust my instincts about people
15. Keeping life simple - is a complicated process
16. Life gave me the biggest second chance ever this year and luckily I had the good sense to grab it
17. Watering plants is therapeutic
18. There is a blurry line that seperates being positive and being in denial ..and I have to try and not walk it so often
19. Friendship is a two way street that requires lots of hardwork and patience
20. Theres no point in saving the good candles - I've got to burn them because today is only as special as I deem it to be
21. Sometimes I have to wade through a lot of uncertainty to figure out the one or two things that infact I am certain about
22. It is hard to earn the trust of a child but when I do ..its the most rewarding feeling ever
So Thank You 2008 !
You marked each day in this vague year of my life with remarkable patience for my capacity to get myself into trouble .. You stood by and watched me question everything you sent my way and confuse myself silly .. You smiled at the few eureka moments I had in my cluttered world and you didnt give up on me even when I almost did....
But its time to say Goodbye.
You most certainly wont be forgotten.
Someone once remarked "Where is the good in Goodbye" ... This annual adios is the only farewell that makes sense to me ..to Ring out the old and Ring in the new..
So from my heart to yours .. Goodbye 2008 !

Maggi Hot and Sweet Tomato Chilli Ketchup

"Maggi Hot and Sweet Tomato Chill Ketchup - Its different "

Ad Quote that represents majority of my teenage TV watching experience

Bright and early this morning, a day before Santa comes to town, I was reading on NY times as I love to ..when I came across something totally random.

Apparantly there is a website called Dressregistry.com that socialites and actresses and politicos in the US love to frequent. Basically - you can register an event that you will attend and a dress that you will wear to that event. Its anonymous. Now others like you, who also will be attending that event or others - can look and decide to wear Valentino instead of Chanel .. because you already called that one ...

You can list the UPC code of your dress too. (Incase you've just bought it .. like really .. In times of deep recession .. an impulse Chanel dress purchase would hardly qualify for a public web post ....yeah yeah .. I know the webiste allows anonymous posts ..but anyone visiting the website and then attending the gala would know right ? ... evil evil ways of women ....i tell you:)

Careful Scrutiny of this incredulous find revealed that people had already started registering for events as far out into 2009 as last week of January.

Hmm..talk about planning.

I'm scrambling for the year to not end ..and a whole bunch of people out there ALREADY know what dress they will be wearing for a party in late January.

Frankly - Its a great idea based on who you are.

I mean - if I were Jennifer Aniston - the last thing I would want is to show up at the Oscars wearing the same outfit as Angelina Jolie. It would be nothing short of a personal massacre for both parties involved, the press would have a field day .. and I (JA..just for the sake of this sentence) would be condemmned to a lifetime of workouts in the gym while She (AJ ..wow ..their initials are flip flopped ..just noticed) would be forced to evaluate laser surgery for tattoo removal after seeing how smooth my arms looked. Never mind.

So there is obviously a market for this website.

I logged off before I considered registering my slimming (seemingly I've been told) blue jeans for "Brunch at Pizza Hut on Saturday 27th Dec in Powai,Bombay"

But it got me thinking about this eternal love hate relationship we as humans have with being a part of the everyday magic and being uniquely different at the same time.

Its strange. This should be a black and white thing. Either we are like everyone else or we are different. Then why does it matter so much ?

Do the same rules apply to everybody ? or are we hell bent on beating this argument silly to a % point level ..

For example .. I am just like everyone else with a special gift for putting my foot in my mouth (80% like everyone .. 20% different)

Hmm...

Ofcourse there are people that will argue that "everbody has their own unique place in the worlds order" and to them I will say that "Heaven help those among us then that will spend their whole life just searching for this just one of its blessed kind special parking place"!

Its weird - you try soo hard to just fit in .. in high school... and then when you apply to B school ..the first question they will ask you is .."What makes you unique" ? ..and act surprised when your jaw drops in surprise ..

Its an urban legend of a personal order for me.

Sometimes its so upsetting to feel like you are just like everyone else ..and yet at other times there can be no greater crisis than feeling like you are so different compared to the world.

At the same time, sometimes two people can be similar .. but we can feel very differently about them. Or two situations .. but based on the time in our life .. we react in very different ways..

On this cloudy day in December, I have no answers.. only questions.

But the one thing that I can say is that regardless of what the outcome of this argument is .. Maggi Hot and Sweet Tomato Chilli Ketchup ..is really different.

And that is the only thing I can vouch for.

Born of Ink

There are heros born of ink, whose first steps are but letters scattered over manuscripts.
Their lives are but stories trapped in yellow white pages that inspire us, haunt us and guide us.
They are immortal even as they die and for those of us who read about them, they live forever but in the minds eye.
For a confirmed reader like myself, I find myself often awestruck at their expertise in handling and diffusing the many tense situations in life, their alarming patience and resilience for the unexpected and their ever faithful loyalty to their own thoughts and emotions even during moments of utter confusion. Some of them, I admire for their ability to love life while others at their capacity to express themselves perfectly in any situation and most of all, their resilience at making every word count.
So last night I lay in bed, completely in love with a book all over again.. listening to time as it crept past my window in the wee hours to turn night to day, I could not help but wonder what I could do if I was in the place of the main protagonist in "Love in the time of Cholera", Florentino Aziza when Fermina sent me the terse two page letter citing her fall from the "confusion of love into the abyss of disenchantment"
And there are times when I am at a crossroad unable to make a decision and my mind wanders and I think about say what Howard Roark would have done if he were in my place. Frankly, I've always known what he would do in every situation I've asked myself the question.. I've never followed suit and done what he would have .... but always known it so there were no illusions that I would harbor in my petty decision making.
So here is my list of some of my ink heros who have become larger than their legends in the years that I have read of them and what I love about them.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Howard Roark; The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand: His ability to stick to his principles and not compromise on his thoughts, feelings and goals on the way to achieving his dream. His ability to live not just without love .. but despite it...which infact may be the hardest thing of all.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr Laura Catellano: Never been so much more in love with a book character than this one. Determined, focused and always getting in and out of trouble..still manages to work hard at her job and relationships and is immensely human in her sheer brilliance and empathy towards life
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Little Prince; Le petit prince Antoine De Saint Exupery: For being able to handle goodbyes far better than I ever can. For being able to believe that distance can be overcome in matters of the heart..even after being seperated not by miles but by galaxies ....and for seeing the positive side in things always and making me believe in the concept of laughing stars
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dagny Taggart; Atlas Shrugged; Ayn Rand : The force behind Taggart Transcontinental railroad, for her grit, her focus and unabashed loyalty to what she has fought tooth and nail to create. Her ability to be a woman of great mind and spirit but also one that was able to love without too many questions.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mark Darcy; Pride and Prejudice; Jane Austen: For being the intensely honorable man of few words that he is. For revaulating how his behavior is infact perceived by ones that he loves and for making a genuine attempt at rectifying it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santiago; The Alchemist; Paulo Coelho: For following his dream to the worlds end. For his amazing capacity to learn and inspire goodness. His simplicity and ability to listen to the voice of the soul of the world world and the voice of his heart and discern the truth from the superficial. And for living the journey more than the destination.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Andrew Elliot; The Class; Erich Seagal : For being the narrator and witness to the ups and downs in so many lives, for embracing the side acts he plays in so many lives, for his humility and ability to feel great happiness at the good fortune of those around him and for trying to make a personal difference wherever he goes.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Prabhakar; Shantaram; Gregory David Roberts: Ohh what a beautiful world with a friend like him in it ! For his utter simplicity towards all things alike...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dumbledore; The Harry Potter series; JK Rowling: For his pearls of wisdom stemming from seeing all the facets of people and life across so many eons. For never misusing his magical powers and immense strength and for always believing the good in people..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mariam; A Thousand Splendid Suns: Khalid Hosseini: Patience, Resilience, Gut and an immense capacity to deal with life the way the cards are deal
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mary Lennox; The Secret Garden; Frances H Burnett: Mary had an uncanny healing power that manifested itself in her attitude towards life, her unwillingness to settle for anything less than her hearts desire, negotiate her way to it and her magnanimity. The classic part of her character was where she met Colin and refused to put up with his temper tantrums but at the same time agreed to let him see the garden...carrot and stick ..priceless !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The list shall continue ...I wrote this post over two days and I must not forget to mention that last night I had a totally weird dream where Shantaram approached me for not picking him..followed by one in which I was on a TV show and was asked a question that there was a boat sinking and three people in it were Dunbledore, Howard Roark and Mary and I could only save two and who would I save and why ... Nevermind! ..The drama in my life shall always continue ... :)

Gross Annual Happiness

I recently learned that while the rest of our countries are dogmatic in their pursuit of economic benefit and spend much time, effort and energy in making decisions that impact economic indicators like GDP positively, there are yet others that believe in a more holistic approach to measuring the progress of their people.

Bhutan measures whats called "GNH" or "Gross National Happiness". Although there is no current quantitative measure for GNH - the proposed method of measuring GNH involves monitoring 7 key areas in the day to day life of its people...Economic,Environmental(increase in carbon consumption,traffic),Physical(number of diseases etc), Mental(surge in anti depressants, etc),Workplace(jobless claims),Social (divorce rates, crime rates) and Political.

The plan is to create one indicator that has a weighted average of the 7 individual metrics.

I think its a great idea. Especially in countries like India where the economic surge often happens only at the top of the pyramid while not much comparitive change happens at the bottom. Ofcourse there are those that argue that higher economic growth should eventually result in the other metric's improvement - but thats not always true is it ?

So as I came to terms with this newfound information, I could not help but wonder if I as a person also had a similar myopic view of what constitutued personal happiness. Was there infact a way to measure say Gross Annual Happiness - where I would not just be stuck in a job or in a situation that would attempt to submerge all other feeble attempts of being happy.

Where I would rationally evaluate everything that had transpired over the length of the year - how many times I fell sick, how many times I lost my temper, how many times I behaved in an unbecoming way, how many times I upset someone else around me, how many times I helped others out, how many times I worked out and then come to a conclusion about the current state of affairs in my life in times as strange and wonderful as these.

I dont know how I could actually come up with this measure. But I have not a shred of doubt in my mind that if I did - I would find that contrary to what I thought I felt on most year ends like this one in 2008, where much has been murky and undetermined... I would realise that infact I have much to thank for and much to celebrate about and that if I stopped trying so hard to be happy and paused for just a little bit.. I would realise that I was having a pretty darn good time in a pretty darn good life.

Amen.

Pla(n)tonic

The thing about new year resolutions is that they are hard to keep, harder to forget and often broken within few hours of having made them anyways.

So this year, I;m making a wish-list.

Not a resolution ...(what does that mean anyways) ..

A wish list of all the things that I wish will happen .. and more importantly a wish list of all the things I hope I can make happen in 2009.

And I decided to take a leaf from my B school books and actually mention doable action items and not state broad vague goals like "Improve health" ... and set SMART goals...

(Specific Mesurable Achievable Realistic Timely .....Lol !!! .. cant believe I am actually stating how nerdy I am .. oh well !)

And this year, I've decided to be brave and put them down in ink ..

Some of the points on this list arise from my day to day struggles with being less clumsy and others are what I say I'll keep doing ..but never do ..

So by this time next year, we will know where the scale tilts.

So here is my wishlist for 2009 :

1. Make a trip to Morocoo and drink coffee with FL

2. Lose 5 kgs ..(not brave enough to disclose a number..just typing this was hard enough..and not sure if its SMART either .. )

3. Eat green leafy vegetables 2 times a week

4. Go swimming once a week

5. Visit the Golden Temple

6. Read one book written by a native author from each country that I have a close friend from

(Nigeria, Columbia, Mexico, Morocco, US, India, Pakistan, Jamaica, Malaysia )

Books identified so far are

"Love in the time of cholera " : Gabriel Garcia Marquez

"The famished road" : Ben Okri

"Like water for chocolate" : Laura Esquivel

7. Fill the gas tank in my car before it reaches "E" to avoid panic attacks

8. Learn to parallel park like JD ..(okay ..had to state it .. have NEVER seen anyone do a better job at parallel parking .... too bad I cant go all the way to Tampa to learn .. I would ..if I could..)

9. Find a NGO to volunteer on a weekly basis with

10. Write one letter each month and acutually post it ..

11. Learn the alphabet in sign language

12. Learn to give insulin injections to my grandmom

13. Drink 5 glasses of water each day

14. Finally go on my much planned and has not happened trip to Prague

15. Finish reading "We are like this only"

16. Restrict eating fast food to weekends alone

17. Not kill plants after getting them home ..and actually manage to grow something instead of hara kiri herbs dying in the sun due to my negligence

18. Find a job that I really like

19. Go to the gym at least 4 times a week

20. Try and do all the above mentioned 19 things

There - the typing part wasnt hard.

The "doing" is going to be the cause of my undoing in 2009.

Like they say .. Dont be afraid of making plans for when you are scared it means you have something to lose and when you make plans it means that you have something to look forward to.

Damn right I do ;)

Fun Anyone ?

The usual suspects met up at Anu's place on a quasi wintery evening last weekend.

The plan was playstation, takeaway tandoori, italian wine and good times.

I went gingerly ..still smarting from my last experience with Anu and the love of his life - PS2.

The last time I was talked into spending my precious time in the land of the games, we had played a car racing game. Unfortunately - I seemed to have a hard time getting my eyes, brain and all the five fingers of my hand to co-ordinate. I hit a curb spun around and drove in the wrong direction. 5 minutes of silence later, Anu grabbed the stick from my hands and said .. okay .. let me atleast turn the damm car around for you...and laughed for a full 30 minutes at my striken face. And that is not the greatest thing to happen when you are learning to drive and have to plead with friends to not carry parachutes while you are driving :)

I went home, my ego bruised ..and yeah ..incase you are wondering .. I didnt drive myself home.

So this time round, my plan was clear.

Sip the wine, eat the tandoori and stay away from the PS2.

But Life is what happens to us while we are busy playing videogames.

There were all these crazy characters in one on one fist fights in our PS2 party.

And some of them charlies angles too !

Half way through the night - I just couldnt resist.

I think I've found my PS2 calling.

While I cant drive my car straight or change gears quickly .. Kick and Punch I can do ..

and on lucky plays ... I can even do the "press both the buttons together and Hwoarang will pick up his opponent and swing him around and drop him and beat him to a pulp" move !!!..and when the screen blinks and says "KO" .. you've never heard anything cooler and funner !

(I refuse to agree with Anu's comment that "Its a sign" that I fared much better at the "beating to a pulp" game than the "whiz past the finishing line" game. )

For now - I have new friends in Hwoarang and Julia Chang .. and whoever said "Three's a crowd" obviously never played Tekken.

I think I may have found a new way to spend Saturday evenings :)

Circuit Day

These days my gym trips have taken a turn for the unknown.

My trainer has me in agony by putting me through what's called a circuit workout once a week.

Where I excercise every part of the body without discrimination.

None of the "Thursdays are meant for Ugly Betty at 9 so let me just do triceps today really quickly while no ones watching .." thing..

When I train on the circuit - theres no retreat, no surrender.

Just me and the weights. Its a knockout even before the fight has begun.

Last night, as I tried to reason with my throbbing muscles - I realized that somedays..life felt like a circuit workout too .. where nothing was spared.. nothing was left to reason or doubt.

Days when I was going down - freefalling, out of control ..slave to some morbid external force.

Circuit Days when several things attacked me at the same time ... Work..friends..home..health..hair.weather..traffic..food...past..present..future and anything and everything that I touch turned to stone.

Whatever was in the path of the storm was left in shambles.

A circuit day.

Where my 24 hour cosmic karma would be so messed up that the only thing I could do was take deep breaths, let the clock tick and the karmacola fizz over.

Then when I got up the next morning - I could look at the half filled karmacola bottle and decide whether it was half empty or half full depending on which side of the bed I got up from of course.

The thing is .. that I'm not entired convinced that this is such a bad thing.

The thing is that inspite of the pain and the agony of going down and crawling painfully through the tunnel to light the light myself ....a circuit day every once in a while..helps me understand what makes sense when absolutely nothing else does.

A circuit day - much like a circuit workout helps me understand whats the "Freeze Feature" in my little world that holds the threads of hope in my life together in a weird shaky cross-stich.

And this is what I hold on to and fight to preserve on the remaining days when I choose the battles instead of them choosing me.

Amen.

Five

These days, a good cry is an easy bargain.

I'll be honest, I'm not one of those who can hold back the floodgates when they threaten to burst. My excuse is that my eyes are always dry and tears are good mositurizers.

Now lest you start to imagine a full fledged brawl, nothing like that.

These days, I time myself.

I'll give myself 5 minutes to cry.

So its only 5 minutes ,not 6 and not 4 but exactly 5...

So if I must weep, I better make it a good one...

If I must stress, I'll time that too. So that the 5 minutes are well worth it.

Whats the point of all this anyways ?

One minute you are worried you've made all the wrong choices in your life - career, friends, lovers .. and then turnsout that the worst choice of your life is what restaurant you suggested on a dinner date with your family..

And if that wasnt bad enough - you lived to tell the story that others didnt because you chose to run in a particular direction.

Thats just one of the stories that made me bawl this week.

...So I'm timing myself - when I'm cribbing and complaining and stressing for all the mundane meaningless reasons that I choose to worry about while the ground shakes for those around me in ways that I cannot help or fathom.

I took a rickshaw on saturday to U's place and ended up talking to the rickshawalla.

I find myself doing that a lot more since last week too.

I instructed him to take a diversion road instead of a crowded cross section and he asked me if it was because I was scared and I found myself telling a complete stranger the truth.

He told me that I should not be afraid as often one would run into ones worst fear on the diversion road in life.

Then I guess seeing my chastisized expression (yeah ... been there done that) .. he decided that we could move over the pleasantries and chit chat while we waited in bumper to bumper traffic.

He said he was upset because he and his wife were fighting a lot since the mumbai attacks.

He had a day job in a factory and his wife worked as a maid servant. He drove a rickshaw in the evenings and his wife stayed at home with their two kids. Since the terrorists struck, no one wanted to go to movies and malls late at night and he had been taking in 60% of his prior daily income home last 10 days. He was angry because he didnt know what else to do.

I told him that I'd pray for him and he said that its good that some people still believed that their prayers would be answered.

The reality is that all that crap that Eric Clapton said about "Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees" is infact true. And never before has it rung truer in an apocalyptic Nostradamus world is ending sort of a way.

So these days, I'm timing myself.

5 minutes is all I get when I do something that is unconstructive but totally compelling in an addictive sort of way.

So that if I have to absolutely waste 5 precious minutes of my life on crying over spilt milk or coffee or otherwise - I make it a good one.

And then after that - I get up and get on with the business of Living.

Amen.

Dhak-Dhak

Yesterday - a colleague of mine asked me "arent you sorry you moved back ?" ..and I was taken aback. Of all the murky things to have crossed my mind between last week and now .. this didnt feature at all.

So I'm going to capture what makes my heart go dhak-dhak everyday of being back !

And I'm not even going to go close to the business as usual reasons of family, Indian economy and all that jazz...

So this post is about what I love about being home !

And why inspite of all the bloody maniacs next door undergoing year long crash courses in civic manslaughter, inspite of people yelling Anti- India slogans few hundred miles away from the same factory that stamped the grenades found in last weeks massacre, inspite of all the bleak grey reports emerging in the world wide media about investor concerns, tourists getting cold feet and rising insurance premiums... Inspite of all of it ..

This city and this country is my jaan, my shaan and everything I love about my life and my world.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reason one: We are like this only

We believe in horoscopes and we believe in evolution

Ivy league educated computer engineers who will tie lemons to their cars to ward the evil eye.

Pandits who take appointments on blackberries and Pav Bhaji wallas who will take delivery orders on the latest Nokia phone.

We are one of the only 4 countries in the world to have a moon mission - but we also

house millions who worship the moon and do havans to placate its effects.

We have one leg in the past, one leg in the future and all this while we are steadfastedly watching the latest bollywood movie which features world famous hiphop superstars rapping in english.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reason two: A curry by any other name

Come on...

I'll elaborate anyways.

Everyone knows that "The way to a mans heart is through his stomach" was the advice a bubbly indian mommy gave her computer programmer daughter as she cooked paneer pakodas to serve to an arranged marriage management counsulant boy who was the nephew of her neighbours uncles cousins daughters good friends mothers sisters first cousins son who was visiting from "abroad"

And so from that unsuspecting saying stemmed a generation of mughlai, tandoori, south indian, peshawari, bengali, yummy ..utterly butterly delicious yummy food.

From eating chaat in five star hotels to eating pasta out of gaadi's on the road. ..from desi daru to our very own Sula ..we've got it all !

Some people eat to live .. but right here .. in the soul of this country .. we live to eat.

In kali mirchi and adrak we trust.

So much so that even Starbucks has a "Chai" now !

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reason Three: Desi Girls

It rocks to be a Desi Girl !

Desi women are the most complicated ever. And it takes one to know one.

Try driving a car in Bombay wearing a sari.

If it doesnt give you a heart burn the first time - let me know.

Then try getting into a fight with a rickshawalla on the same day. When you step out of the car and threaten to kill him with your bata high heel chappal and tell him stuff like "Ladki se baat karne ki tameez nahi hai" ..all this while trying super hard to make sure the sari stays in place .....you've arrived.

Imagine - you can wear Indian clothes, western clothes, Indian makeup, western makeup, Indian shoes, Western shoes, Indian Bags, western bags, Indian jellwery, Western Jewellery....

OMG ! ...there is two two of everything !!!

Retail paradise, Fashion Fury and the Gods must be crazy ( .. theres more than two of those this side of the world for sure !!!)

Wear a miniskirt one day and a sari on the next and confuse the hell out of everybody !

But jokes apart - take a look around you.

If I look at so called third world/developing countries everywhere around India and look at the women and what they go through "on an average" .. while there are places in India unsafe for women .. I would say .. overall .. we rock the cradle !

We have women cops, women politicians, women ibankers, women chefs, women entrepreneurs, women pilots, women programmers, women drivers and if you open Page 3 of bombay times ....even some men dressing up as women ! ...and lets not forget .. we have scores and scores and scores of Women Gods !!!! .. that even sweaty burly MCP type businessmen worship !
I think its a blessing :).. Dont you ?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reason Four : Chak De Phatte !

People actually make movies like "Desh Drohi"

Apart from the fact that it was banned.... some guy actually acted it in, produced it and sold it on the black market. He was interviewed and wooed and reached almost iconic proportions in a funny sort of a way.

We protest and we yell and we vent.

We elect absolute junglees as our leaders and then when they behave like animals .. we get together with the media and social forums to bitch silly about them.

We know what its like to have freedom of speech.

We dont issue fatwas on people who diss our cities and our countries and our cultures and our religions in best selling novels and high TRP TV shows abroad. We buy those books and read them and watch those shows and invite those same people to come back and change their mind.

We organize peace protests and marches and men and women and children and elders from every walk of life can be seen in them.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reason five: East ya West

I love how beautiful India is.

I've visited a lot of astoundingly astounding places in the last 10 years. But a lot of the moments that have taken my breath away have been in and around India ... From seeing the sun rise over a sleepy Rishikesh, to watching the sunset cast long shadows at the Vivekananda memorial in Kanyakumari ... From lying face down in a valley of orchids in the Kareri lake glacier to paragliding at Baga over quasi colonial white bougeanvilla surrounded bungalows... from the long walk up Tiger Hill to the tea smitten slopes in Coorg...its like a life long season of the Amazing Race !

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reason Six: Local Lingo !

Top ki Heroine

Chat Corner ( ya ya ... sign for an internet cafe outside my house that people go to expecting to be served sevi puri !)

Bhaiya ( can mean several people based on how you say it and when you say it and to whom you say it !)

Naya Item ( ..also can meant several things !... on the street ..in an electronics store..hahhahaa)

So Cheap .... ( 16 year old college girls in India loveeee saying this ... and they arent shopping while saying this .. )

Arreeee (I'd have to say 3 senetences in english to comunicate the same anger than this one worded areee can !)

Setting

Daring

Bomb ..(yeah ..oustide Mithibai college .. this meant something completely non explosive until last week )

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reason Seven: Bollywood calling

I dont have to explain my SRK screensaver to anyone ever again ! (Nooo ..he's not my boyfriend....he's an actor .. yeah ..he's cute by indian standards) ...

I love the new bollywood! ..love the offbeat movies, the untouched subjects, the social activists with reels and funky new hairstyles.

And I love what it inspires.

Pimped out Jhankar beat rickshaws, Twenty zillion Radio stations with over hyper DJs, Nasal pitched train singing, pirated everything and the latest and greatest bollywolly fashions from Linking road to High Street Phoenix.

First Simi Aunty had her show.

So Karan got his own.

And now Rakhi has one too.

If thats not progress then what is .....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reason Eight: Bharat Ek Parivaaaar

I lovveee how I can call everyone Aunty and Uncle. Auntyjee and Unclejee if I really want something badly.

I can call anyone Bhaiya.

I can call anyone Didi.

Afterall it was Nehru who once said .. all Indians are my brothers and sisters.... so all their parents become Auntys and Uncles naaa ?

Bolo Bolo ??

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reason Nine: Whats in a name ..

Rikshawalla

Dabbawalla

Raddiwalla

Paanwalla

Bhajiwalla

Dodhwalla

Taxiwalla

Fruitwalla

Pest Control Walla

Batliwalla

Biscuitwalla

I think if we decided to come up with a new abridged Hindi Dictionary .. we would run out of spaces adding all these words that we use on a day to day basis ...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reason Ten: Jeena Yaha .. Marna Yaha..

You can take the desi out of the des... but you cant take the des out of the Desi.

Himesh remix on I285 in Atlanta

Himesh remix on SV Road

Chai in Marietta

Chai in Bombay

What to do ?

Life is complicated yaaar !

You can only be in one place and one time ... and the time is now and the place is right here !

In the middle of the madness... with bombs that havent been traced ..and terrorists who havent been caught .. with threats of air attacks and mall attacks. ..where Tomorrow may never come ....but I'll take my chances ..because for now - the combined effects of Rahu Ketu and all the planetary influences suggest that "365 days of Thumbs up" is the way to go !

I'm 30 years old.

My city is Mumbai.

Thank God I have enough !

One moment in time

Fuelled by desperation and restlessness, I spent an extra hour at the gym yesterday. Outran myself until I was so exhausted, I could think no more. I got into the car and drove home through the dusty grey moonlight illuminated streets in norh bombay.

At a crowded cross section, I waited to move with an omnious yellow black rickshaw to keep me company.

Between me and the rickshaw - two boys stopped by. Both young, in their 20's with backpacks and guitar cases wearing black clothes.

My head started hurting again.

I took a deep breath and attempted to rub the back of my neck to ease the tension.

Thats when I made eye contact with the rickshaw driver - who had read my mind

and shook his head as if to say that he had seen the same ghost from last week that I had.

Life as we knew it - had changed forever.

Sensex and Sensibility

Two years ago

http://mettakau.blogspot.com/2006_03_01_archive.html : Titled "Amchi Mumbai"

I drove to the Gateway of India with two of my closest friends Leanne and Mir. We parked at a spot right in front of the Taj intending to go into the hotel and walk around. As I approached the parking kiosk - I inwardly thought to myself ..wow..I'm going to shell out a bomb for this spot. There was a young boy manning it - who cut me a receipt and said in a quiet voice - 17 Rupees and 50 paise. I didnt know whether to laugh or cry. Here I was - about to walk into a 7 star luxury hotel - about to potentially spend several 100 times as much on a cup of coffee dishing out a 20 rupee note for a prime parking spot. I handed him the note and said I didnt want change back. He said " Change ka hum kya karega Madam - yeh humara job hai. Satra rupey bolo to utna hi leneka" . Gave me precisie change 2.50 paise back.

Frankly - if I was in his place - I would have pocketed the change. But I'm not. I'm neither as hardworking nor as honest.

And that dusty parking kiosk guy outside the Taj who refused to keep the change - is who represents the average hardworking mumbaikar. And thats who you should keep in mind while reading this.

Wednesday Nov19th 2008

Nithya was in town on her way home and decided to stay in Mumbai for 2 days. She had never seen the Gateway of India. We drove to town and spent the entire morning strolling Appollo Bunder - clicking pictures of the Gateway, the boats, each other and the Taj. Then we went walking through colaba causeway. We made our way through antique sellers, fake bag stores, shoe stalls, silver jewllery kiosks and channawallas and frankiwallas and headed to Leopolds for lunch. A couple of yummy sandwiches later we headed over to the Taj - where we strolled the insides. Saw the pool and the massive horse statues guarding its front entrance, the saffron garlands they welcomes guests with.. the who's who of international luxury brands housed on the ground level and made our way to the Sea Lounge to check out the view.

It was the kind of afternoon you can only spend in South Bombay when you are young and restless and carefree.

Wednesday Nov 26th 2008 1 pm

At lunch time -

kaumudi bhide to Ushma show details Nov 26 (5 days ago) Reply
How about I come to town on Friday night and we do some totally pointless street shopping at Colaba Causeway and dinner at Leopolds .. very college girl types ,...Love, Kau

Needless to say - we didnt go to that part of town on Friday.

Wednesday Nov 26th 2008 9 pm to Saturday Nov 29th 8 am

Militant terrorists took control of the Taj Mahal Hotel, Oberoi-Trident and Nariman House after indiscriminately opening fire on people at CST, Leopolds and Cama Hospital.

Army and Navy commandos, Police officers, ATS members and Firefighters fought with the high voltage hostage situation where hand grenades were hurled, bombs diffused, hostages rescued, infernos placated and countless people lost and injured to overpower the terrorists after a 60 hour standoff.

Circa present day:

There was a time when there were only two big time hotels in the city of Mumbai.

Taj Mahal hotel is one of them.

Apart from being a visually stunning beautiful structure - once the playground of the rajas and maharajas - this 100 years old hotel - survived two world wars, british colonization, indian independence, the hindu growth rate of the economy, communal riots in mumbai and weathered storms aplenty to become the iconic city landmark that it now is.

But back in the day, it was a luxury that few could afford. And whenever anyone went to it - everyone would talk about how someone went to a "Five star hotel". The swimming pool, AC rooms, wall to wall carpet and room service in uniforms. It was something that the average mumbaikar had never even imagined - leave alone witnessed and experienced.

I remember someone who descibed it when I was a little kid.. and I pretended to be cool and said "ooohh and aaahh" at the all the appropriate moments ..only to ask my brother when everyone was asleep .."whats a bathtub" ? ... and remember him confessing that he had never seen one too.

Years later - I called him from the US and was all smiles when I told him that I now lived in a house that had a "bathtub"

Thats the beauty of a dream.

Thats what makes it so painful when the dream shatters.

In a country of a billion strong - we're so worried about the GDP and the sensex. We pay so little attention to the kind of society that we are building. We teach our kids about India before independence - but not about what comes after that.

We should start History lessons in the 1st grade. Believe me - we've a lot to cover.

Enough of the world wars - our text books should have chapters dedicated to the wars India has fought - where Indian soldiers have laid their lives down fearlessly. We should teach our kids about Kargil and the refusal of the consolidated worlds governements to back India's war against the Pakistani army led insurgency and government supported agression.

We should have a chapter dedicated to Dawood Ibrahim - mastermind of the 1993 bomb blasts in Mumbai - who now resides in a palatial mansion in Karachi with sattellite images to show his each and every movemment - yet their governement refusing to asknowledge his existence leave alone extradite him.

We should have another chapter dedicated to the Kandahar hijacking where LK Advani and gang neogtiated with terrorists and let go a crucial militant the Indian army had caught after losing tens of soldiers. And also show a video of him driving across the border into Pakistan.

Unless we do this - how can we explain to our children whats happening today.. where it all began ..and how it will end all of us before we decide to end it.

Everyday - the news papers should have one page dedicated to army operations in Kashmir on a day to day basis - so people and media dont ask stupid questions like "Is the NSG capable of dealing with this" ..and "why is it taking so long"

And the security cover for the politicians should be removed completely. Those extra security men should be allocated to protecting civilians instead.

Any government that sits and watches while its citizens run amock holding terrorist making camps and make a mockery of civilian rights for people everywhere in the world needs to wake up and smell the coffee or be woken up.

We should do away with governments like our own that sit on their hunches while thousands burn and spend sleepless nights in agony due to a neighbours complacency and incompetence in dealing with what happens in their own country.

I amuse myself thinking about what Gandhiji would have had to say if he was addressing the press today. Would he have turned his other cheek ? ...orchestrated a salt satyagraha?

Times change and philosophies need to keep up.

Else the clock is ticking for all of us.

We're all to blame for this - I myself dont hold a voting identity card. Then how can I sit back and expect things to change. Getting that will be the first step for this week.

I dont think India needs anyones blessings on what to do next.

We are the worlds 12th largest economy. 4th in terms of Purchasing Power.

We are the worlds most populated democratic nation.

We house 1/6th of the worlds population.

And in a few years time - 50% of our population will be under 25 years of age.

This will be a generation of indians who will represent majority of the market for any product - be it electronic, food, apparel, service and who will also represent majority of the workforce for countries all across the globe.

This is what is at stake. Not just for India - but for the rest of the world.

Its their future that we need to secure.

We need to be careful and assertive.

We should severe diplomatic ties with any nation that allows extreme factions to breed militants that time and again target our cities and citizens.

By no means I am recommending an act of external aggression. We havent initiated any of those in the esteemed history of our country and should not.

However - its time to stop pretending.

You cant be all things to all people and so we have to be very careful about who we as a country are friends with. Its not the time to play cricket or exchange titbits on arts and crafts. All that can wait. And can continue with every single other country in the world. Believe me - our lives will be no less entertaining.

Instead we should focus on making our security airtight, elect leaders who have a spinal cord, invest in human resources, infrastructure, sanitation, green energy and grow a soul for this city of ours. Continue to be the cosmopolitan, life loving country that we have always been. Thankfully we have seen the merits of a democratic free society and I gurantee that the average mumbaikar will board a raft only for pleasure - leave alone to be a part of a dark henious plot. Beacause he has a strong refernce point to how rewarding life can be on this side of the fence - even when he refuses to pocket extra change offered by a foolhardy few.

Tough times dont last - Tough people do.

And its time to show that we as a country can be just that.

Time Travel

I'll be honest.

The one good thing about having grown older - is that I've learn to appreciate new forms of music, eat different types of cuisines and not be afraid to try anything once, most things twice.

This twist in my childhood story that once seemed married to a staple diet of GNR and Madonna and nothing else matters - is nothing short of a divine intervention.

I would like to call this progress..but while we are still being honest - I'll admit quite frankly, that its just not possible to appreciate the many nuances of fine music, art, cuisine, literature, travel when you are 15 and untouched by life's many intricacies.

I guess thats the good thing about having had your heart broken once or twice. .that when you hear someone say "Just the way you are" .. you understand all at once how simple yet how complicated loving someone in that precise beautiful way is.

Or when you see Van Gogh's Self Potrait .. you can look beyond the pastels into brown eyes that speak volumes of a life's struggles and the passion that lurks within.

Like when you eat Dim Sum .. just knowing that it literally means "A piece of my soul" ...makes the experience that much more special in a humbling sort of way.

Or when you read Plato say "Star of my life..to the stars your face is turned" .. you can close your eyes and think back to that one moment when you felt like you too had the heavens gaze upon you with a thousand eyes like he said.

Or when you travel - as far as you've ever been from home .. and experience what Frodo felt when he left the shire ..and You can finally understand that there is comfort in the challenge and the unfamiliar and that if you look hard enough you will find bits of your home scattered all across the unknown

When I was much younger - I read that unless you weer cheese, aging was not something that

you would have to worry about.

So be it. And this year from my heart, I hope that as 2008 comes to a slow end, as the clock ticks and I find myself counting the years.......I continue to embrace the battles life has to offer, laugh recklessly, travel endlessly, love foolishly and between now and then find a way to make the years count too.

ABC

Inspired by something I read - here is my rendition of the alphabet.

A : Always believe in yourself. You are never truly alone till you lose your own support
B: Be kind to your loved ones. Relationships are fragile and treat them with love.
C: Call your parents frequently. Your life is their gift to you.
D: Dont be dismayed when your plans dont work out. Sometimes not getting what you want
is the best thing to happen to you
E: Expect the best and the best will come to you
F: Five Fingers make up an handshake and also a fist. Never underestimate your capacity to
withstand whatever life throws your way.
G: God is on your side. On your happiest days and in your darkest hours.
H: Have fun everyday.
I: Its only life. You have to give it a chance to get one.
J: John Lennon makes perfect sense on full moon nights. Grab a CD while you can.
K: Knowing is better than believing..and taking a leap of faith beats sitting still.
L: Learn to love yourself. It will be a hard earned lesson.
M: My earnest prayers are with you
N: Never litter. The world is your home.
O: Open your heart
P: Plan for a rainy day. Financially and Emotionally.
Q: Quote your mom whenever it makes sense. You'll be shocked how often that happens.
R: Regardless of how you feel right now, Time will outweigh this moment
S: Smile randomly. It will keep you healthier.
T: Think about sunflowers, green fields and a red woven blanket
U: U are meant to be the lead actor in your own life. Dont settle for playing the best friend.
V: Value and nurture your good health.
W: We are partners on each others journey through life. And wherever we go - we take parts of each other along. If that isnt love, then what is ?
X: Xactly 24 hours make up a day. Even the longest hardest day is only that long.
Y: You have an exact place and role in the grand scheme of things. Being disoriented momentarily does not change that. Just increases the waiting time.
Z: Zero Tolerance works only in Theory. Life demands you to bend so you may not break.

Bench

Someone very smart once said that a lifetime of being a rock ..would make you an island.

That notwithstanding - you dont always get to play in the big game.

Sometimes you are on the court and sometimes you are on the bench.

And when you are on the bench - as much as you'd like to fly through air, as much

as you'd like to get applauded and as much as you'd ike to be a part of the action ... you are still

very much on the bench. Waiting.

And it sucks not to be the first one to screech rubber on wood.

To be on the sidelines, while the world cheers and life goes on ..the noise of the claps and laughter drowning the screams inside your head.

But slowly - you start observing things that you would never have from center court. About yourself..about your team ..about your coach and how everything comes together and falls apart....
Anyone who has played any team sport will tell you .. that in the grand scheme of things .. its not about whether you got picked first or last. Its not about how long you stayed on the bench waiting before your name was called.
It's about what you do in the 15 seconds of play when life does give you a chance.
So while you are waiting on the bench .. for that life changing call .. think about it.
About how much it hurts at the moment and how there are exactly 5 steps between you and the white lines. And how you would do anything to make that short walk.
So that when you get your half a minute's worth of play .. you make sure that it was worth it.
Amen.

Where do we go from here

These days are great days for looking forward and planning ahead - and I've been busy thinking about a lot of things this past week.

Where am I ?

Who am I ?

Whats important ?

What have I left behind ?

Where do I go from here ?

I've had this funny realization that everything has infact come with a price tag. Yes, its been worth it. But its not like I've not made choices that have hurt others..its not that I've escaped unscathed by those made by others I love. Its not like I've not had sleepless nights pondering what to do,say or feel.

And at the end of all this - I'm still at a point where the questions by far outweigh the answers.

And I've learnt to see that there is merit in this quandry too and life has been bitter sweet and beautiful.

Today - I was on the way to work at the traffic light. And there was a little kid. No more than 10.

Dressed in white garb with a white prayer cap..who came to my rickshaw and asked if we wanted to spread "dhoop" in the rickshaw. The rickshaw walla shooed him away and I turned up my nose at the dusty smoky smell that filled my vicinity. This little kid - with bright black eyes looked back at me and said "please didi" and I waved my hand and signalled not to.

Once upon a time - this was a profession that many actively followed in India.

When I used to go live at Abatya's house in Girgaum .. we used to see dhoopwallas all the time. People used to invite the home, spread dhoop through the house, pay them and then bid them on their way.

Now we have "Goodnight" bottles plugged into our walls to drive the mosquitoes away.

Once of my childhood highlights was seeing "Vasudev". Vasudev was a person who would dress up in this special dance attire with bells tied to him ..and he would frequent streets in old bombay and Babulnath and Bhuleshwar and Charni Road and dance round and round while his flowing robes made pretty colorful circles in the sticky morning air.

I remember being this wide eyed optimistic 8 year old who would be sitting in the house while my mom braided my hair ..and Kedar would come running and say "Vasudev Ala" and we'd run out to look at him go about dancing and people would give him coins and make him a part of their day.

Now - my building watchman watches anyone who walks on our street like a hawk.

I'm shocked today. I really am. And disappointed at my own blindsightedness and recklessness.

So much is changing and I have just not had the time or the bandwidth to think about so many of these things while I chose my own trivial battles to fight.

Its ridiculous. While I am writing this blog, the grim picture I am seeing.

What happens to the dhobi ghats when the market penetration on washing machines reaches a saturation point ? .. will we no longer see the white-grey-multi-coloured-speckled grounds from the train ? and what will we see in its place ?

Even close to home - we used to have this lady come and walk in our streets when I was a kid ..who was a "Dabba Batliwali" .. who would come and collect bottles and boxes and pay you some money for them .... India's own grey market for recycling .. where has she gone ?!

We used to rent cycles as kids .. 5 rupees for half an hour... ..from a little bicycle shop down the road. He had lots of bicycles... ladies and gents bicycles he'd call them .. and in different sizes .. and in the evening during the summer vaction .. Kedar and I used to go to rent a cycle and bring it back ..and first he would ride it for 15 minutes while I ran behind him .. and then I would ride it for 15 minutes while he ran behind me ..The highlight was .. there was one bicycle with a bell that you could ring .. and we would be overjoyed when we could rent that one ! Ohh ..we would feel so important ..riding a cycle with a bell that was at our mercy !

Come to think of it .. I dont remember the last time I saw any kids in my building ride bicycles ..leave alone walk for 20 minutes to rent them and take them back...

Honestly - this blog post is all over the place.

I really dont know whether there is a thread of coherent thought in here.

I'm really all for change and growth and all the good things that come with it.

But how can entire professions and peoples ways of living alter as I write this...

One day I'm going to be sitting with my kids and not able to explain some of the most cherished memories of my life for lack of a reference point.

It scares me and disturbs me.

Someone once said that if we cant change a situation - then we have to change

But how much do we have to change ?

Where do we go from here ?

A Good Year

A Good Year

Victor Frankl once said that we should ask not what we expect from life – but ask what life expects from us. Its not about what questions we have for life – its about what actions we take to answer the many questions that life asks us.

And so on that note another year in my life has come to an end.
And what a good year it was….

I have changed cities, found new homes, made new friends, grown new roots where wings were and found release from the same chains that bound me familiarly. I’ve fallen down, had my heart broken, lost old faiths, gotten up, made new promises, built new bridges, wiped my tears, raised my chin, laughed at myself and thanked the skies immensely for the wonderful things and people that have made it a habit of finding me serendipitously.
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times, I’ve continued my journey and moved on.

This year started in Hyderabad on a veiled night and ended in Bombay on a starry one.
Come to think of it – since 2004 – every single year in my life has started in one city and ended in another one. If there is meaning in this small fact that went unnoticed even to my self discerning eyes until I started writing this post – time alone will tell.

For now I am happy to just stand quietly in this place that I arrive at only once every year after walking 365 days in my worn shoes – where I can peek back with ardent gratitude, look ahead with unabashed hope and hug the moment silly.

Thank God I have enough.
I’m 30 years old and my city is Mumbai

Puppy Love

Read the cutest article on yasmin bolands website today... had to quote it here !

HOW TO LIVE LIKE A DOG - From Yasmin Bolands website !
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

Kuch Khaas

Movie Review: Fashion

Vintage Bhandarkar. Keeps you on your seat - afraid to even blink least you miss something important. This is a movie about the hit and miss glitzy fashion world. But anyone can relate to the central thread in this film. About what it takes to achieve your dream. The people you meet on the way up and on the way down. Your supporters and your retractors. And when the protagonist says "You are never truly alone until you lose your own support" .. it makes your heart skip a beat. Watch it. For the glam, the blur of the spotlight, the glare of the limelight, the dizz of the free fall and the warmth of true friendship.

Song Review: "Jaane Kyun" - Dostana

Thank God for these peppy tunes that are so hummable and singable that they make the longest drabbiest journey worthwhile. And finally - a song about friends that makes your heart go dhak-dhak. Not a song about love, or the lack of it. Not a song about dreams, fears or anything vaguely high handed. Just a simple song about Friends. And how with the right friend .. "I'll be all right"

How everything - even the topsy turvy crazy things seem okay when you are with friends .. The whole world is on one side .. and you are on the other side .. but friends smile and laugh at things and in moments everything is happier ! ...Afterall any friendship seems just like a few moments in the eternity that life stretches to be .. but even after years, it strikes the familiar chords...remember when you were 16 .. well ..if you dont remember .. go check out this song !

Book Review: The Zoya Factor : Anuja Chauhan

If I could - I would buy a copy of this book for everyone who reads this blog.

Its simple, its fun, its sassy, its philosophy with tadka .. kinda like masala thumbs up. A page turner. You wont be able to put this one down once you start reading it. Will stay up at night - laughing loudly in your very quiet room - at the antics of the lovable Zoya, the boost brown eyed Khodaphone .. and the ever so dependably sarcastic Zoravar. This one will be made into a movie.

I'll bet on it. And it will be a riot ! .. so if this was to be made a movie.. okay .. If I was to make this into a movie ! .. who would star in it ?

Lets see:

Nikhil Khoda : Prateik Babbar

Zoya: ...hmm ..dont think this is possible .. but Kiran Rao .. if she can do this ..maybe i'll buy her a samsung phone and convince her

Zoravar: Arbaaz Khan

Eppa: Not sure what her name is ... whose the grandmom in the ad where the neighbour comes to drop of the kids and she says "acchar daalongi" ..

Zoya's Dad: Anupam Kher

Rinku Chachi: Bindu

Its the BEST BOOK I've read in Fiscal year 2008 !

Must Read !

Have to give a disclaimer - that there are a lot of indian references and lingo used in the book .. that make it double fun !

Till Debt does us apart

For months I've read about the subprime crisis.

For weeks, thats all that the news channels have talked about.

For days, I've been thinking about it.

I know that I have this mad stupid ability to try and relate everything to my life.

And how excruciatingly ordinary and miniscule my life is in the grand scheme of things.

Its not that I dont know and its not that I'm not thinking about how lame this post is going to sound even as I am writing it.

But unfortunately, I'm not that spiritually evolved yet - to look at the big picture all the time and stand in a pool of tears under the stars smiling at the cosmos saying "Bring it on".

So coming back to the subprime crisis. Everyones wondering how these banks actually made these subprime loans. How could they lend to people without conducting reasonable checks.

After hearing smartly dressed reporters debate passionately for the 1000th time last night.

I shut the T.V and closed my eyes.

Off all the people - I do know.

I know what it is like to lend my energy and hard work to a project that is subprime. Wait around for months thinking that it will materialize. And grab a fistful of hair when I dissolve it.

I know what it is like to lend my time to thoughts and dreams that are subprime. Hold on to the threads of hope for months thinking that they will come true. And try to hide my stupidity when I get over them.

I know what it is like to lend my trust and my love to someone who is subprime. Wait around for months thinking that they will return it. And then crying in earnest while I write them off.

And then ofcourse there is a liquidity crisis.

Someone or something shows up that does deserve a chance and who would return all that positive energy and hard work and love.

A friend, a Boss, a random person on the street looking for help, a new work or business opportunity.

But I dont have any left. Inside - I feel all empty and dry.

Like the once brimming now empty coiffers of these banks.

I am a victim of my own subprime crisis. Waiting to be rescued.

Unfortunately, there arent any credit checks or bailouts available for feelings and human trust.

You just have to go by your gut.

And what that means for someone like me is that every once in a while - I am up against a wall created by my own beguile that I am not able to scale.

So I just have to destroy everything in the vicinity and walk around it.

And so I do.

And in the interim all I can do is learn and pray and hope that my time and love finds worthy investments that I will hold on to.

Till Debt does us apart.

Amen.

Charlotte's Web

Inspired by an article I read on carbon footprinting - I thought that I should create a post of a footprint of another kind... the kind that captures whats been on my mind today .. from random news posts, weekend plans, music and what not.

- The taxi and rickshaw union called off its strike. Yesterday the roads were organized and free ..today :) ..new day ..new story !

- Sweets market in India is undergoing a sea of change. 40% drop in indian sweets sales last year in Delhi per the Associated Press .. Increasing affluence, health consciousness and preference of dry fruits, electronics and other goods as gifts as opposed to sweets, it cites.

I'm on a diet .. but I'll have a gulab jamun today just to bolster the market ..broken window fallacy anyone ?

- Southwest airlines posted its first loss in 17 years .. also jet airways called back all the employees it had laid off yesterday succumbing to political pressure ...I guess with fuel prices fluctuating between 140$+ in July to about 70$ at present .. the question is ..hedge or no hedge ?

- In response to the presidential candidates constant refernce to "Joe the Plumber" ..ivillage posted a rhetoric on its website asking if anyone was going to talk about Jane the plumber !

- Carbon footprints of some frequently used products. These numbers include raw materials, transportation and usage costs. Interesting titbits -
Jacket : 47 pounds is from polyester production
Shoe: Major portion is from breeding cows, methane produced my cows and their feeding matter and leather. Though shoe makers argue that they should not bear the printage of making leather as cows are bred for beef and leather is a byproduct...it seemed to me that a lot of averaging was done in this calculation ...like average electricity consumption per shoe etc .. but different types of shoes need different amounts of electricity .. I think cost accounting fundas would demand an activity based costing framework here !

Beer : You would think that transportation was the major culprit ..but infact it is refrigeration of the beer at home thats the major contributor !

Car: 86% came from using the car and around 4% from producing the car

Laundry detergent : use liquid detergent and stop using a dryer !

- Google answers the Iphone. The G1 will be released today. Unlike the Iphone, the G1 is not a phone. Its an operating system called Android and will be sold loaded in a HTC phone with Tmobile as an operator. The initial reviews as as follows : Software = A , Operating system = B, Network = C. This is pegged as the Iphone killer, retails supposedly at 199 and has some cool free features like voice dialing and conversion of song to ringtone. But will be spawn an entire accesory and complimentary products industry like its apple eyed competitor .. ? The verdict is still out.

This is the theatrical poster for a play that I have tickets for tonight. It plays at Prithvi over the weekend and is called "60 seconds deep". The intro is as follows : "The story of 4 standard sized lives. And 4 larger than life dreams. Welcome to your life and mine. Welcome to our stories. Let’s take a Journey that’s crazy and expensive and doesn’t know how the rules work. Maybe we’ll meet my parents and your uncle and drink coffee at our neighborhood Bakery. Sharing space is important, and so is sharing a bathroom. No nuisance allowed. Welcome to where you work and where I gave up my education for a career in cartooning. Welcome to a world where food is my expression…and love is my art. Let’s despair and fight and win a war together. Lets race each other to the nearest bank. Let’s be free. Let’s tie each other up.

Cast : Sheila Govindaraj, Nayantara Roy, Mandar Gokhale and Atul Mongia "

- Last but not the least .. I have a song recommendation for the weekend .. "Its Amazing" by Jem ..from the SATC soundtrack ! .. you wont regret it ! .. So hop onto you tube .. check it out and tell me what you think !

....<>>

From my corner of the world - Hasta Manana. We will meet again.

Much Metta - Kau

Dead Cat Bounce

Part of all the action thats being ushered by the current market crisis, political nexus, geo-economic issues and impending recession is to read the interesting quotes that politicians, newspapers, open ed columnists and others are making everyday.
Here are some of my current favorites from the weeks gone by.
I dont remember the source for some of them - so apologies.

1. "The job description and role of an economist is to make astrology seem like a respectable profession"
(Read on facebook)

2. "Men think in herds, go mad in herds and recover their senses slowly one by one"
(NY times article)

3. "I have a friend who regularly reminds me that if you jump off the top of an 80-story building, for 79 stories you can actually think you’re flying. It’s the sudden stop at the end that always gets you" - Thomas Friedman in the NY times

4."On Wednesday, The New York Times on the Web flashed a headline that caught my eye: “U.S. to Unveil $1 Billion Aid Package to Repair Georgia.” Wow, I thought. That’s great: $1 billion to fix Georgia’s roads and schools. But as I read on, I quickly realized that I had the wrong Georgia. "
-Thomas Friedman in the NY times

5. “Economic Dis-Equilibrium: Can You Have Your House and Spend It Too?” : George Dyson (Read somewhere along the way ..dont remember where)

6. "As the financial experts all over the world use machines to unwind Gordian knots of financial arrangements so complex that only machines can make — “derive” — and trade them, we have to wonder: Are we living in a bad sci-fi movie? Is the Matrix made of credit default swaps?"
-Richard Dooling

7. "My 401K plan is now a 101K plan"
(Read in a friends facebook status )

8." Fighting for peace, is like screwing for virginity "
(Read in an article on Iraq war)

9. "There is nothing left on the right and nothing right on the left "
(An SMS that I received that talks about the assets and liabilities of companies per US GAAP)

10. People used to default on their house last of all.Now it's the first.Many people were taken from a trailer park and put in a home.They took a 110% loan and spent the 10% on a widescreen TV and a car.When they lost their job, they defaulted on the house, put the TV in the car and drove back to the trailer park
(Read in an article)

11."All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years.": Palin when asked what books/magazines she reads

And ending the list with my favorite one :

13. "We spent $3 million to study the DNA of bears in Montana. I don't know if that was a paternity issue or a criminal issue." : Mccain on wasteful spending by congress

Million Dollar Question

" I asked the zebra,

Are you black with white strips?

Or white with black strips?

And the zebra asked me,

Are you good with bad habits?

Or are you bad with good habits?

Are you noisy with quiet times?

Or are you quiet with noisy times?

Are you happy with sad days?

Or are you sad with happy days?

Are you neat with some sloppy ways?

Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?

And on and on and on and on

And on and on he went.

I'll never ask a zebra

About stripesAgain. "
-Shel Silverstein, Zebra Question

.

Last night as I switched my lights off and made my peace with the waning day, I could not help but contemplate my struggle at dealing with uncertainty. So much of a love for structure. A need to find answers. All the time.

To find a way to rationalize with all the things that happened in my life. To make sense of all my feelings and desires. To better understand all my failures and challenges.

I've asked many questions to the cosmos..on this blog and otherwise. And yes, I have found twice as many answers. Some that have satisfied me for a few days and others for a few years and some only for fractions of a second. So the quest and the questioning continues.

Over the years I have heard many answers that have shattered me. Others that have scarred me and some that I have accepted after struggling with for many years.

But on rare occasion, I have heard an answer that has surprised me silly and made me feel immensely at peace with life. Just every other blue moon or so.

The truth is that not all of my questions have answers. And over the years I've realised that it is sometimes better to know clearly what my questions are - than have all of the answers.

Yet, at this precise moment in time, it hurts to not know.

It scares me and unsettles me to deal with the complexity and uncertainty of people, decisions and choices.

Some say that all this questioning is a waste of time. And then there are others that insist that its good to question the basic things every once in a while.

So which one of them is right ?

And that is also a question, amongst the many others than I have on this cloudless night.

Today is October 15, 2008

I'm 29 years old and my city is Mumbai

Luna

One of my most favorite moments - and this one actually repeats itself ..is when I am on a long road and look up at the sky as I usually do - and see a full moon looking down upon me.

Tonight - finally - after months in the maximum city, this awesomeness inspiring moment that had long eluded me in this city finally happened.

I was driving home from the gym and had turned into the very crowded lane at Irla - stuck in traffic yet again and playing the clutch brake game. As I nonchalantly flipped radio station channels, I glanced over to the west and was rewarded immediately by the sight of a yellow full moon smiling down upon my everyday madness. It was the best way to end the day ever !!!!

Memories like pollen in Florida, Red maple leaves in Atlanta and dust in Bombay rushed out of nowhere.

- Me walking down 13th street past the Arby's in Gainesville, standing dumbstruck at the sight of the moon over the steak and shake at the corner of 13th and 16th.

-Smiling at the moon from a dingy greyhound bus somewhere in Columbia SC, unaware of the winds of change soon to blow over my reckless world

-Stepping out of Doc Che's in Atlanta and looking around to cross the street to grab a coffee at the starbucks - and smiling at the full moon rising over the buildings at Emory

- Driving home on the long stretch of Highway between Jodhpur and Jaisalmer and feeling comfort in the moon making the journey with me

-Looking out of my hotel room in Vasant Kunj to see the yellow moon serenade the air traffic over the lonely road upto pvr priya

-Walking home from the LRC at ISB - mind heavy with the worries of the day and the next and suddenly feeling like a million bucks seeing the moon rise over a sleepy student village 1

- This summer in Egypt, wrapped in a blanket listening to the Sphinx talk about her life at Gaza with the pyramids in company

- And now a memory in Mumbai.

Cluttered, Noisy, Random but nonetheless unforgettable.

There is this personal connection that I have to Moonlight and the story of my life.

It makes me feel like anything is possible.

Like I am just another person walking under a sky full of stars and sooner or later - I'll find my way back home. In good times and not so good times.

Because she is watching over me from a kind sky. And sooner or later, thanks to the Moon, the tides will turn and so will I.

Amen.