Written

Its a gift to be a writer.
No two ways about it.
I would not have it any other way. Its a part of me. Rather - most of me.
But that doesnt make it any less harder.
To know what you feel is one thing. To be able to precisely word it and put it down in ink is another. And to have someone else read a piece of your heart...is a place where we dont want to go ..on this blog atleast.
Sometimes, it leaves me extremely restless and tired.
This is one of those days.
My mind takes me to places that I've never been to before. And its hard because not everyone wants to go on the ride with me.
When a toasty brown leaf flutters into my room - I see a memory making its presence felt
When I see a solitary pen lying on a table at the bank - I see a letter that is just waiting to be written
Seeing the moon during the day on the few rare occasions make me instantly think about people in other parts of the world looking at it in a star studded night sky
When I open a dusty old book at a street store- it makes me wonder who read it before me and where they might be now
When I pour wine into a glass - It makes me think of the year of its vintage and what things may have become
I'm sensitive to sound, music, textures, weather ..sometimes their friend and sometimes their prisoner.
And I am writing even when I am just staring into space.
Its the journey of a lifetime in the few moments that my mind spins at the speed of light.
Somedays .. like this one .. I'm just jetlagged.
I document the good times as well as the bad times. And it helps me maintain a precarious equilibrium that sometimes even protects me.
I experience everything thrice - when I fel it, when I write it and when I read it back.
Its a great friend to have - when alone or in company, in sunshine or on a rainy day locked indoors.
Its excruciating to have the words to say everything I want to say to someone and not be able to say it ..
Its even harder when I am able to but they cannot in return
And I know that its not that they dont feel - just cant say it all.
But the hardest of all is - when sometimes words simply fail me.
This is one of those times.
I continue in earnest prayer to search for them.

Today is 26 May 2009
I am 30 years old ..and my city is Mumbai
Thank God I have enough