Once there was a King

When I was in 18- I happened to read a lot of Tagore.
It didn't quite make a lot of sense to me then - how could it ? ...At 18 , you can only read about Love, Heartbreak , Life , Time ( "The Butterfly counts not months but moments - but has time enough" .. couldn't resist quoting)..At 18 you can read about the mysteries and facets of life and only imagine.
Reading Tagore somehow made me want to paint - I would read and would draw immense visual inspiration.Vivid and very powerful were the words. Changed my life ..or least how I saw it anyways ..
Some of the prose I read - came back to me years later - on quiet evenings just like these when the winds brought stories from far away lands into my ordinary life.
Some - I am still trying to understand.

Life through my eyes as a reader and a writer has happened in two stages most of the times.
One - where I read something ..like I did at 18 , and just wonder.
Two - When circumstances and life evolves to a point where all the thoughts generated and stored away years ago after reading something- come back.

Has it happened to you - that you read a poem/story/book or see a painting and its heart breaking because you can understand every single word/emotion of it ?!..and I'm not taking about a heartbreak as in being sad. Sometimes your heart can be broken in the right way too ..but that will be a Kauism that we shall save for another post.
Usually - I just shake my head and laugh when that happens - Its a Kodak moment - far and few in between.

Which brings me back to Tagore and this post.

One of my favorite stories is one that called " Once there was a King"
I read it many years ago. But yesterday in one of my classes - it came back to me ..in slow motion.

Tagore writes with great joy about children in this particular piece of work and says as a child - we are so happy to hear a story that starts with - "Once there was a King"
Its enough
When we grow older - we listen to that and say " Where did he live" .."Was he a good king"
"Was he elected ? " .."Did he rule fairly"

"Once there was a king" - Thats not good enough anymore is it - not even in a story ?
As adults - we just wont believe anything.

In Tagores story - a grandmom tries to narrate a story to a bunch of children - and everytime she says something dramatic - the kids ask "What happened next?" ....then she keeps coming up with additions ..and the kids keep at it too. Finally its late into the night and out of sheer frustration - she says .."Then the king died"
..and the kids look at each other and ask "What happened next " !!
The poor grandmom can only shake her head in frustration and amusement and smile at how hopeful the young ones are that not even the Kings demise would daunt them in the face of something exciting coming along !

So let me ask you this- what happens between then and now and when do we stop looking ahead- when life strikes.
The truth is that no one knows whats going to happen next.
Yesterday we were taking about statistics and the stock market. And we looked at all these charts and said - "we dont know what is going to happen in the future - we will only predict based on what has happened in the past"

Well - Truth be told - The corner stone of my life is exactly the reverse psychology.

There was a time when I had stopped asking questions.
Things happen that we cannot control. Its not reason enough to shut the world out. But even though I knew better and I've read better - I stopped asking questions. Stopped making plans.
When things are rocky - everyone gets affected. What defines us - not to the rest of the world but to our own inner selves is not how bad times affect us - but how we handle them. Some people break they say .. others break records.
I became a sinkhole.Anything anyone said - went right through me.
I made an art out of feeling insignificant.
But one day - I can still remember - it was my first fall in atlanta. I had gone to throw trash - used to be a long walk from where I lived and I was walking back. And for the first time in over 2 years - I stopped to look at what was around me and saw how beautiful everything looked.
And I remember thinking - that the reason why I dont want to open my eyes and see whats around - is because I expect it to be exactly or similar to what it was in the past.
But it didnt have to be like that. It could be a completely different future.From that precise moment - it was.

It took a while for it to sink in...and an even longer time to put it into practice.
But after a long time - I find myself making plans again. Tomorrow doesnt have to be anything like yesterday...and even if it is .. I can always look Life in the eye and say "What happpens next" ?
Amen