Finding Kau

Life comes back full circle.
In the middle of my 2nd month back in India - I find myself on a sunny humid saturday afternoon - here in Hyderabad, AP changing my blogger profile that says "Atlanta - GA" to my most current co-ordinates.
To say that it isnt heartbreaking - would be somewhat of an understatement. This is the right kind of heartbreak - where you only weep for what has been your greatest joy.
These are indeed the best of times and the worst of times. Suspended in a place thats only inside my mind - I peer out cautiously.
And I wonder - where am I from?
Lets see - I was born in Bombay. I was knocked down in Florida. I learnt to stand up and keep walking in Atlanta. And now I'm getting what can only constitute as a lesson in emotional dress down in Hyderabad.
Someone once told me that you know where you are from only if you close your eyes and remember what flashes in front of you.
Well - here is the trouble.
Exactly 2 months ago - I was in a room in a quiet suburb in North Atlanta on a night when even the moon refused to come out - and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I saw what Bombay looked like on a rainy july evening from Cafe Naaz.
And now - Last night I lay in bed - in my cold room here in SV1 and all I could think of was how beautiful the atlanta skyline looked at the intersection of I75 and I85.
Miss Maybe - Miss Halfway. Thats what I have become.

So I did what I could and came up with a survival theory.
So now I have a new theory - called the H2-Oh! theory.
There are two types of people who swim.
Type A swims for fun. Your "average swim across the English Channel on a sunday afternoon "types.
Type B swims to survive. Your " cant get out of your mind - why did spielberg make that movie ..imagine a black fin following you with melodramatic music" types.

I used to think I am Type A.
Change of plans - I have never been more of a Type B.

The interesting thing about being a Type B is as follows : When the blood really begins to run - and the swim becomes more of a sprint .. Type A's reasons for swimming suddenly become bleaker and bleaker- Not as much fun.
But we Type B's .. the madder it gets .. the more is the desperation and struggle to stay alive.
Type B.

So I keep swimming - in the sea of chaos that life seems to have become...and hope that like one of my favorite commercials - even though I might find myself in the middle of nowhere .. Hopefully -In the middle of nowhere - I will find myself , yet again.