To be or not to be

Forgive and Forget.

I hear this all the time. This particular adage is used like seasoning salt.

In matters of the heart, its definately not as easy as it sounds.

Yeah, no kidding.

But that makes me wonder why these two always go together to a party ?

Never solo.Always a merry couple.

My theory is as follows. If you do one .. and you do it well ...you dont need to bother about the other.

Lets see, suppose I am hurt by someones actions. And it really brings me down.

The enormous weight of pain - has to be dropped for sure.

No can do a five minute mile with emotional baggage.

So I decide - that I must Forgive. And if I genuinely do forgive - with all my heart. Why should I have to forget ? It should simply not matter at all ..whether I remember or I do not ..who cares .. ?

Else - I decide that I must Forget. Now if I'm hell bent on forgetting that the incident ever happened - then forgiveness doesnt enter the equation ! .. because since I dont even remember what happened in the first place .. I do not feel any pain or anger or hurt.

Sometimes its easier to forgive. Very hard to forget.
When the reverse happens - even your guardian angel knows you're screwed ..for a while at least.

Now to do both at the same time ? ..wow .. a truly spectacular fantasmic emotional-colada.

Personally, when I try to do both I have mixed results.

Like I forgive an incident and I also try to forget it. ....but then I worry about losing the lesson and then I want the other party to remember that I forgave....

Maddness.

In my experience - Its just impossible for me to do both at the same time and do justice to them both.
Its as easy as playing the guitar and drums together and keeping a smiling face.
So I just pick one and do it as well as I can. Whichever is the easier at the time.
After I learn to master one of them .. then maybe I take a shot at the other if I am not too tired.

Incremental Goal setting for the faint hearted.

Theres no judging here. No excuses. No textbook moves.

Just a brute force approach to saving my own skin.

Its like being in a really crowded party, the first step is to find my spot and stick to it.

And then maybe - when the music is right, I can shimmy a little.

All in good time.