My current favorite song is called "The Quest" by Bryan Christopher.
I just cant get it out of my system.
I run to it - everyday on the treadmill... It really gets me..deep inside my mind.
The thing about this song - is that it closely mirrors the thoughts I have about life at the moment.
When I was younger, in high school, I was so goal oriented - it was shocking. Years would go by and would be defined by "Get good marks in an exam" "Get into a science college" "Get admission in the best classes" "Also be good in extra curriculars" .."Get a teaching assistantship"
Shakespeare would have been aghast if he'd seen me at how flat my life was.
Completely unlike any of his characters who may show equal amounts of drama,angst and confusion but lead much rounded spherical lives.
Remnants of this hard wired attitude still manifest themselves in my ways of thinking and doing. "Get a good score on the Gmat" "Get admission into a top B school" and so on.
The apple hasnt fallen too far from the tree.
(Newton would contend that just the fact that the apple fell in the first place is reason enough to celebrate - but oh well..)
But on nights like today, I sit and look back at my life and wonder.
Education, Job, Money, Health .. all these are not things that I live for.
These are things that I need to make a living.
I live to write ....for Art ..for soul shattering world moving passion ...for the achy feeling my muscles get after a long fruitful day at work...for experiencing the beauty of the world....for the rains ..for laughter...for being there for those I care about..for watching my nephews smile ..for the giddy excitement of new love ....the quiet comfort of old love ....for the ease of well worn friendships ..
I've never really planned any of these things.
I just cant get it out of my system.
I run to it - everyday on the treadmill... It really gets me..deep inside my mind.
The thing about this song - is that it closely mirrors the thoughts I have about life at the moment.
When I was younger, in high school, I was so goal oriented - it was shocking. Years would go by and would be defined by "Get good marks in an exam" "Get into a science college" "Get admission in the best classes" "Also be good in extra curriculars" .."Get a teaching assistantship"
Shakespeare would have been aghast if he'd seen me at how flat my life was.
Completely unlike any of his characters who may show equal amounts of drama,angst and confusion but lead much rounded spherical lives.
Remnants of this hard wired attitude still manifest themselves in my ways of thinking and doing. "Get a good score on the Gmat" "Get admission into a top B school" and so on.
The apple hasnt fallen too far from the tree.
(Newton would contend that just the fact that the apple fell in the first place is reason enough to celebrate - but oh well..)
But on nights like today, I sit and look back at my life and wonder.
Education, Job, Money, Health .. all these are not things that I live for.
These are things that I need to make a living.
I live to write ....for Art ..for soul shattering world moving passion ...for the achy feeling my muscles get after a long fruitful day at work...for experiencing the beauty of the world....for the rains ..for laughter...for being there for those I care about..for watching my nephews smile ..for the giddy excitement of new love ....the quiet comfort of old love ....for the ease of well worn friendships ..
I've never really planned any of these things.
They've just happened. Not a single goal related to any of them.
Which really makes me shake my head and sigh when I hear this song.
What is my quest ?
What am I going to live for ?
What am I going to die for ?
Who will I fight for ?
and why I cant answer that ...?
Which really makes me shake my head and sigh when I hear this song.
What is my quest ?
What am I going to live for ?
What am I going to die for ?
Who will I fight for ?
and why I cant answer that ...?
1 comment:
On the contrary ... Ironically so but I have always lead life in the exact opposite , but yet things always fell into place, never did plan a thing. Through school, college (swithched from science to vjti to finance at purdue)but truly t'was all unplanned. I guess just having experienced it all was enough. In spite of which things fell in place ... I guess I always focussed on having that precise moment which as many people as I possibly could. What I mean by that precise moment is just that defintive time when you are with someone (the intricate contact that the only two of you can understand)...maybe its that's really imp to me, maybe for me life would just be a summation of many such intricacies ... I knw this is random ... But you wrote so well kaumudi that it just made me think ... Jigar
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