N.E.P.A

Forgive - Sounds good
Forget - I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting ..

I think one of the hardest things for me in recent times has been to come to terms with the fact that I cant be in control all the time ...that there are other greater forces in action ..and sometimes all I can do is wait for the tide to turn .
The most complicated thing off late has been to keep it simple. Each day I try ..to assess and establish priorities ...but in matters of the heart , everything seems like spagetti code one too many times .Seeking the unknown ..hoping that it will seem familar when I find it . My own personal paradox.

They say that we are connected to everyone through 6 people. 6 degress of separation.
Why are so many people looking for love , peace then ?

I heard a spanish version of "Survive" that blew my brains out and made me really reconsider all that I had thought about this week ..all my opinions ..some harsher than others ..about life and the world .

It made me think about how often I didnt understand something ..just because it wasnt in the exact same language or words that I was half expecting ..but that didnt change the truth in the message .

I wondered if people who were living in colder times ..in the revolutions ..or world wars ..independence struggles ..wrestled with questions about rights and wrongs ...if there were times when everything seemed grey . If they would live their lives differently ..have different opinions , actions , inactions had they known that history was in the making and that their great grand kids would some day look back at present times with a degree of apprehension and skepticism .

I wondered about the truth , justice , equations and karma .
About how every day there were so many good kind people who would have accidents , contract diseases , die young ..in meaningless ordinary ways . About why these random unplanned things didnt happen to all the bad people instead . Then I thought about who was good versus who was bad and where the lines became blurry .
I wondered if I ever had kids what kind of a world would they be born in ..what would they look back on ..hold on to ..

Sunday evening - the questions were like the leaves against my windshield ...leaving whispers of their impact agaisnt a seemingly untouched exterior .

Then I read something very interesting .. that said . ...
" Fear Not ..For Those that the Gods wish to destroy ..they first make mad with Power "

..and I believed it ....I didnt have a choice ..For now ..I would have to pray and hold on to the thought that power would ultimately destroy ...that when things were really bleak they were but a part of a much bigger plan ..and that things had to get really bad before they got better ..and to hope and pray really hard for the thousands of people for whom like santiago ..the darkest hour would be right before dawn .
To be thankful for the life that I have ..to celebrate every day that I spent being free and loved and in love ...to Never Expect Power Always , to Die another Day and Cry another day .
Not This morning ..not today .