Operation Shilpa

On a warm fuzzy post diwali pound packed November night, I was at the movies.

It had been a long week at work and I was only too happy to reward myself.

Medium size popcorn (small is too little, large is too much .. you know the drill..), Coca Cola (Bubbles of joy..Jeeyo sar uthake ofcourse! ), nachos (come on..dont be shocked.. I'm going to share with 2 other ppl pls ) and a hot fudge brownie..(they just started this new thing at PVR .. have to be a good patron now....)

So as I sat between salty masala corn stubs and a bottle of water to detox ofcourse, the soda I sipped seemed to have just the adequate amount of fizz for the night.

Until Shilpa Shetty ..stepped out of an air brushed magazine and into the screen and my face ..wearing swimsuit after swimsuit on South Beach and waved her perfectly toned body in the face of all the calories that surrounded me.

Operation Shilpa began the next day.

I went to my trainer in the Gym and had a mano-e-mano conversation.

I said to him, lets set some real goals.

"I want to lose weight" is not a realistic goal. It does nothing for me.

I know that Kaizen is good .. but I've had that goal for such a long time that I've been on continuous..continuous improvement!

So I asked him - how long is it going to take for me to look like Shilpa Shetty in Dostana, Bipasha in Bachna ea Haseeno....lets make this real. I can handle pain.

He didnt show me one finger. He showed me three.

Three months ?!

He shook his head. and Laughed.

Dammit ! .. Three Years .. thats what it takes to go from "round is a shape" to "Top ki heroine" shape.

Jokes apart, he put me on this gruelling workout routine that has kept me awake at night and made me sleepy after lunch at work everyday since.

Operation Shilpa has actually enabled me to overcome some of my own battles.

I mean, on a personal note,.. I am actually in a real meaningful relationship for the first time in my life. We are partners in sweat and tears. So what if it's a treadmill. The amount of time I spend with it....Zeus would blush.

My shoulders are burdened with the responsibility of 8 pound dumbells ..and my week is divided into two halves - Upper and Lower.

I've learnt that when I do abs - I dont count from 1 to 20.

I say tables.

Four ones are Four. Four two's are Eight. Four Thirteen;s are Fifty Two.

The complex mathematical calculation makes me less giddy.

I've also mastered the art of Yoga.

When I get too tired, I just roll a mat - lie down and take a quick nap. And if anyone asks - it always impresses them that I strongly recommend the use of meditation and self hypnosis during the workout to calm muscles.

Afterall - in this gym. I am a veteran. I am almost a part of the gym. Been around long enough to have everyone look at me like the prisoners looked at Morgan Freeman in Shawshank.

I'm gymstitutionalized.

Like yesterday, my trainer was shocked when I did a ten minute run in five minutes !

I told him .. you see .. my grandma once said ..time really flies when you are having fun.

I am. I am! ...

Working out also makes you look younger. Well - actually my sweaty hands accidently smudged part of my age on my id card. But the point, I am making is ..that no one's questioned it so far!

So it must be working..

We've done some changes along the way .. like one day my trainer told me that I needed to watch what I ate. Otherwise, it wasnt going to work.

Now few weeks later- I have 4 entire minutes dedicated at the start of every meal to it.

It hurts like crazy and is soo hard to do - but in those 4 minutes...I am the most focused person in the world. I take time out to gaze at every single food item on my plate before I start eating. And you know what - it was such a milestone when I could repeat the 4 minute routine for

second helpings too.

I think its all about being focused and making up your own rules as you go.

Like substituting nachos for chips - corn is afterall much healthier than potatoes....

Its the small things that make a difference like they say.

Operation Shilpa has really changed my life.

Hopefully by the end of this - my dress size will be smaller than my shoe size and I'll be able to watch movies without feeling guilty again.