Scrabble on Sunday

Why is it that scientifically and theoretically , although both age and distance are both supposed to be contributing factors to a dininishing vision ..in reality ..as the years grow longer and the miles stretch ..one only begins to "see" with greater clarity ...

I know that now is the wow we all have ..but sometimes ..I struggle ..wanting to know where I would be 10 days from now ..10 years from now ....and I dont know whether knowing that would make me any happer or sadder .

Earlier this year , I had to say goodbye . I was afraid for the first time in my life ..of standing up ..wasnt sure if my legs would support the weight of what I was feeling . I said to myself ..is this something I will have to survive ? .....I said I'd be okay ..I believed it ..but survival ..as I now know it ..is not really about surviving as in the definition of the word ..but in terms of ones spirit ..its about keeping what makes us getting up every morning and smile ..alive ..about holding on to that faith that things happen for a reason even when sometimes you cant understand the reason..its about finding a way to make peace with the fact that sometimes life hands out the wrong things for the right lesson.

..I guess thats what makes life so utterly mesmerizing . The fact that tine is limited ..and that everything is never going to be as beautiful or as painful as it is now this very moment ..this moment that will never come our way again .
And Time - It either blows out our dreams and passions like the dwindling flame of a helpless candle in the wind ..or it creates a raging forest fire out of them .

I've has the same best friend for 19 years now.. a little over two thirds of my life - I dont know what I've ever done to deserve that kind of magic , But i'm thankful . For the wonder . It gives me great hope when I meet someone new , that it might be the start of something as meaningful .
for the last 6 ..neither of us have lived in the same city . Yet ..I've never felt the distance ..its like I can reach out and find her there . Yet ....in more recent times ..I've sat across the same table from people and felt miles away from them .

Some battles I think we are meant to fight . Places change ..people around us change ..situtaions change ..but in the end ..we fight the same battles again and again . We can keep running - but new day , new place ..and we find ourselves fighting the same fight . The boxing ring changes - but the same old dusty glove pack ..Until we learn to look at our fear in the eye and say ...I'm bigger than this , Today ..there wont be a knockout . ..in the end ..the other person , nemesis in the ring ..is merely a shadow of our own self ..for the battle wages not outside but inside and is won between the walls of our own minds .Some scars , we must wear as medals .

These are the days - that will make me what I am .
These are the moments - thats will make my life .
These are the years - I will spend building my soul.
These are the times - of my life .
God hope I spend them well.