2005 : An Obituary

2005 : An Obituray

2005 had a very good life . It was full of magic , unexpected miracles and everyday happiness.
It was a year that went sometimes with the flow and sometimes against - but never drifted .
As the sun sets gradually and ushers in the new year , Here is a "not so consise" obituray for 2005
..The year that was ..memorable , bitter sweet and totally worth it in 365 ways .

Millions long for immortality that dont know what to do on a rainy sunday afternoon - Anonymous

2005 began with snow.
I woke up the first weekend in 2005 to be in the middle of the biggest ice storm to rage across the
south east in recent years . The barren trees shone with lustrous nature made bling bling and there
was nothing to do for 3 days other than contemplate the many mysteries of life .
As I got through day after day of solitude , I organized my kitchen and closets and somehow
wading through all that clutter - end up sorting out parts of my life as well.

I'm a highway , a river , a pregrine and all the sails that ever went to sea
Bridges of Madison County

2005 took Kau to Key West , driving down the inter coastal at 100 miles an hour ..where you can feel the salt in the air ..mix with the tears you cant cry . ..South Beach ,where I go so often that the waves are as familiar as the pounding of my heart each time I step off of Ocean Boulevard on the beach after making a stop at the starbucks at the corner of 1st and Ocean .
Then came Puerto Rico and Isle Verde ..Old San Juan with its castillos and winding roads Blue tiled walkways that lead to a deeper blue ocean and the unforgetabble Rogativa at sunset . The year also brought home some Jade Bamboos from San Fransisco ...walking at at the pier
..the sea lions , cable cars and the Pacfic. The Mexicans say that the Pacific has no memory .
And when I was at half moon bay seeing the sea clash with the sky ..I believed it and let some of my pain drown inh the turquoise.
Then there was the steel greys in Detroit , the Def Leppard Concert in Dallas ,
Early fall in Helen and Chicago .
And then as a pretty October dwindled away slowly to a cold November ,
I came back to India ..where my journey started over 5 years ago.

It was November when I started writing this - and shockingly
so much happend in my life in the month of December . Last month of the year ..
last few weeks ..last day even . Sometimes the best moments in my life
are ones that I havent planned for at all . Life is really like a box
of chocolates and my stay in Delhi has been filled with new founded
friendships , everyday happiness and ordinary miracles.

2005 is about dreams that were abandoned ..hearts that were broken ..
lives that were restructured , reburbished and yet
mostly realised to their potential ..tested to their subtlest breaking point
and yet were unchanged within common recognition


Heres some random musings from 2005 in no specific order .

1. There are moments of certainty that come to you only once in a lifetime
..and sometimes when fate interferes ...you dont really have a choice .
2. There is nothing like coming to a place which is unaltered to find
out how much you've changed .
3. If my life was a shape - then it would be a circle.
4. This was a year where I lost so many beliefs , opportunities , parts
of myself that I tried so hard to hold on to . But also a year where I found
immemnse kindness , friendship and a sense of belonging.
5. Things dont really change that much unless you do .
6. We all think that change is going to be this super big , earth shaking experience ..but change is infact very subtle and very small. People dont really pay that much attention to each other to notice this anyways ..but you know ..deep inside you ..that the ground has shifted and that Life as you know it , has changed forever .
7. Sometimes when you cross boundaries and break rules you arent supposed to break , the viewfrom the other side is stunning . ..and sometimes when you least expect it ..
Life takes your breat away .
8.The deepest scars are usually ones that no one can see and you cant hide .
9. Flowers make me happy .
10.Whoever said "One good friend is enough " ..hasnt met me .
11. The weight of what you've experienced in your life ...really
makes you stand up a little taller , walk a little faster and smile a little harder .
12. Sometimes life pushes us in directions we ought to have found for ourselves .
13. When I'm stuck in a blind spot and not able to decide what to do ..
I close my eyes ..take a deep breath and think back ..to the place where
I was the most happy ..safe ..in familiar territory ..and then Think forward
from there ...and this year time and again ..I've reallised that that place
is a wooded second floor apartment on the Chatahochee River :)
14. Having surgery isnt the only way to feeling that your heart is wide open.
15. Even the longest day in the world only last 24 hours . We dont get to see
what /who we are tommorrow ..what will happen if we go with Plan A or Plan B .
We only get today ..this minute ..this moment . All we really get is now
and a shot at the moon ...and sometimes when things are dark enough ..you can see it .
16 . You past ..your background ..circumstances have all led to this present day and who you are . But from that moment on ..only you are responsible for what you become ..tommorrow.

Signing off on 2005 ..letting the year ago .
Heres for much love and laughter in 2006 . Life will have its share
of difficult moments ..but our lives and our hearts are fragile ..so may we handle them with a prayer.

For all of you'll who impacted my life this year, with your words , actions , thoughts , inactions.

May you live a thousand years ..and I less one , That I never know the world without you .

Thank God I have enough .