Destiny

This weekend, over a cup of masala chai, I pondered what Destiny was.
And searched for its meaning and place in my life.
Any dictionary worth half its price in value will tell you confidently that Destiny .. is "A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control"
Destiny.
Sometimes I wonder if someone came up with this word and definition so that I could make peace... More so on some dark stormy nights than on others. When there was nothing to keep me company ..but ..Destiny.
Does Destiny make saying Goodbye easy? Not as in a physical hand wave sort of a goodbye.. but more of letting go of something inside ones mind sort of a Goodbye. The sort of farewell you can bid someone right next to you inside your mind... Or the idea of them …Without making any sudden moves.
The sort of adieu you can bid a long standing dream after it shatters. The sort of parting…that is not half as poignant as Arnie descending into flames of orange steel and does not culminate in "I'll be back"
Does not culminate in "I'll be back" at all.
Does Destiny make it easier to take on the day?
The sort of fighting stance - that is still in sight of daunting change, that does not waver in face of relentless challenge. The sort of stance that says "There is a reason I am here - might as well make the most of it"
Then I realized that I have not relied on Destiny only in times of need as a fair weather friend.
Many times - I have attributed many wonderful things that happened in my life...To Destiny. Like the new team member KB who became one of my closest friends and guides that I would have never met – had it not been for an extra year I spent on my client team reluctantly so.
Or the many warm memories I am making with my nephews thanks to a move back home that was more engineered by not getting into my dream B school than anything else.
So what is Destiny?
Is everything pre determined?
Are the people in my life messengers too? … Are they role players in a bigger drama that will unfold …one day …many years from today that will somehow reveal itself to me at that time .. And will result in yet another earth shattering moment in the story of my life and time.
Why bother with the struggle and strife then? If things are going to happen according to an existing plan – and If I’m like a mere pawn on a chessboard being moved from square to square by a powerful hand – how does that make me feel Today? Stuck in this moment?
Destiny…does it make my life easier – or does it make it harder?
I for one, don’t know. But what I do know – is that Destiny makes it easier for me to sleep at night.
And I can live with that. For now.