If I could wake up

If I could wake up a continent away in Guragon :

I would play Beedi while driving to work everyday - taking national highway ...Through the meandering streets on MG road ..Lined with a zillion phoolwalas , paanwalas , newspaper sellers , hawkers , rickshaws ..The smell of smoke , jasmine and sweat in the air ..Passing by all the sports shops , One MG road ..Kathi roll place ..Nasha ..As the city becomes fainter and the suburbs cry louder ..The taxi drivers ..Construction ..Cement mixed with aspirations ..India ..In my mind and soul ...The afternoon sun bearing down on me- an entire day to spare and all that nervous energy ..One day ,..24 hours to be the change and change the world

Then in the evening around 6 pm - the time of the infamous kau chai break ..Involving samosas , one cheese sandwich , masala chai ..kurkure and a cigarette for you if you may - I would play O Saathi Re - ..Watching the sun set over the grey sky ..Trying to hold on to the day that's long gone ..That started in a way completely different than the way its bound to end , the calm before the storm - an evening that's about to spin severely out of control in meetings that weren't meant to happen ..And crisises that were waiting to happen ...A little sanity in our otherwise mad worlds ..Clarity ..Perspective and tolerance ...And a prayer for time to slow down ..Fast

At 10 pm when everyone is long gone - I am standing at the glass windows looking outside the windows at the night ..Trying to understand what keeps the stars apart ..Coffee in hand ..Space and time reflected ..Realizing that the slum dwellers in the hutments below the buildings have carried more bricks and created something more fortified that I have in the day that's gone ..They are building homes for other people to live happy lives in while I am still searching for home in a place far away from the only home I've known ..I would play Naina ...For the mystery about life , love , soulmates and the truth that only the eyes can speak ..No matter what words are thrown at you ..Naina
for all that I see ..With the eyes and sometimes if I am lucky ..Without .

At 11 pm - on the drive home ..When the streets are asleep ..And I am stuck in traffic amidst a million trucks but where I really am stuck is a place far different , far distant and far less tangible ..I would play Lakkad ...
Another day biting the dust ,..Knowing that seconds lead to minutes and if I take care of the minutes - the hours will fall into place .....Trying to re-invent the mediocre version of myself that I sometimes become ..Trying to face the truth that I can only see in the mirror at the end of a very long and tiring day ..You only know what you are made of at the end of days like that - and you never admire or love life and the passion it has any more ..Days when feeling like nothing means everything

It looks 27 years and going back to where I started from to realize what time meant.
I have never valued a second , a minute , a day as much as I did ..5 months in Gurgaon ..For that more than anything I will be thankful .. Life is like a fistful of sand ..Slipping through my fickle fingers ...Like a beam of moonlight that I am trying to trap in my eyes ..Afraid to open them sometimes ..Like an hour glass ..Flipping back and forth between space and time ...

I am never going to be the same person as I am right now ..
From the moment I hit publish and walk away ..Life is never going to be the same .
And the knowing that - makes this moment more exquisite ...Than the next .
Thank God I have enough .