Dhak-Dhak

Yesterday - a colleague of mine asked me "arent you sorry you moved back ?" ..and I was taken aback. Of all the murky things to have crossed my mind between last week and now .. this didnt feature at all.

So I'm going to capture what makes my heart go dhak-dhak everyday of being back !

And I'm not even going to go close to the business as usual reasons of family, Indian economy and all that jazz...

So this post is about what I love about being home !

And why inspite of all the bloody maniacs next door undergoing year long crash courses in civic manslaughter, inspite of people yelling Anti- India slogans few hundred miles away from the same factory that stamped the grenades found in last weeks massacre, inspite of all the bleak grey reports emerging in the world wide media about investor concerns, tourists getting cold feet and rising insurance premiums... Inspite of all of it ..

This city and this country is my jaan, my shaan and everything I love about my life and my world.

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Reason one: We are like this only

We believe in horoscopes and we believe in evolution

Ivy league educated computer engineers who will tie lemons to their cars to ward the evil eye.

Pandits who take appointments on blackberries and Pav Bhaji wallas who will take delivery orders on the latest Nokia phone.

We are one of the only 4 countries in the world to have a moon mission - but we also

house millions who worship the moon and do havans to placate its effects.

We have one leg in the past, one leg in the future and all this while we are steadfastedly watching the latest bollywood movie which features world famous hiphop superstars rapping in english.

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Reason two: A curry by any other name

Come on...

I'll elaborate anyways.

Everyone knows that "The way to a mans heart is through his stomach" was the advice a bubbly indian mommy gave her computer programmer daughter as she cooked paneer pakodas to serve to an arranged marriage management counsulant boy who was the nephew of her neighbours uncles cousins daughters good friends mothers sisters first cousins son who was visiting from "abroad"

And so from that unsuspecting saying stemmed a generation of mughlai, tandoori, south indian, peshawari, bengali, yummy ..utterly butterly delicious yummy food.

From eating chaat in five star hotels to eating pasta out of gaadi's on the road. ..from desi daru to our very own Sula ..we've got it all !

Some people eat to live .. but right here .. in the soul of this country .. we live to eat.

In kali mirchi and adrak we trust.

So much so that even Starbucks has a "Chai" now !

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Reason Three: Desi Girls

It rocks to be a Desi Girl !

Desi women are the most complicated ever. And it takes one to know one.

Try driving a car in Bombay wearing a sari.

If it doesnt give you a heart burn the first time - let me know.

Then try getting into a fight with a rickshawalla on the same day. When you step out of the car and threaten to kill him with your bata high heel chappal and tell him stuff like "Ladki se baat karne ki tameez nahi hai" ..all this while trying super hard to make sure the sari stays in place .....you've arrived.

Imagine - you can wear Indian clothes, western clothes, Indian makeup, western makeup, Indian shoes, Western shoes, Indian Bags, western bags, Indian jellwery, Western Jewellery....

OMG ! ...there is two two of everything !!!

Retail paradise, Fashion Fury and the Gods must be crazy ( .. theres more than two of those this side of the world for sure !!!)

Wear a miniskirt one day and a sari on the next and confuse the hell out of everybody !

But jokes apart - take a look around you.

If I look at so called third world/developing countries everywhere around India and look at the women and what they go through "on an average" .. while there are places in India unsafe for women .. I would say .. overall .. we rock the cradle !

We have women cops, women politicians, women ibankers, women chefs, women entrepreneurs, women pilots, women programmers, women drivers and if you open Page 3 of bombay times ....even some men dressing up as women ! ...and lets not forget .. we have scores and scores and scores of Women Gods !!!! .. that even sweaty burly MCP type businessmen worship !
I think its a blessing :).. Dont you ?

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Reason Four : Chak De Phatte !

People actually make movies like "Desh Drohi"

Apart from the fact that it was banned.... some guy actually acted it in, produced it and sold it on the black market. He was interviewed and wooed and reached almost iconic proportions in a funny sort of a way.

We protest and we yell and we vent.

We elect absolute junglees as our leaders and then when they behave like animals .. we get together with the media and social forums to bitch silly about them.

We know what its like to have freedom of speech.

We dont issue fatwas on people who diss our cities and our countries and our cultures and our religions in best selling novels and high TRP TV shows abroad. We buy those books and read them and watch those shows and invite those same people to come back and change their mind.

We organize peace protests and marches and men and women and children and elders from every walk of life can be seen in them.

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Reason five: East ya West

I love how beautiful India is.

I've visited a lot of astoundingly astounding places in the last 10 years. But a lot of the moments that have taken my breath away have been in and around India ... From seeing the sun rise over a sleepy Rishikesh, to watching the sunset cast long shadows at the Vivekananda memorial in Kanyakumari ... From lying face down in a valley of orchids in the Kareri lake glacier to paragliding at Baga over quasi colonial white bougeanvilla surrounded bungalows... from the long walk up Tiger Hill to the tea smitten slopes in Coorg...its like a life long season of the Amazing Race !

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Reason Six: Local Lingo !

Top ki Heroine

Chat Corner ( ya ya ... sign for an internet cafe outside my house that people go to expecting to be served sevi puri !)

Bhaiya ( can mean several people based on how you say it and when you say it and to whom you say it !)

Naya Item ( ..also can meant several things !... on the street ..in an electronics store..hahhahaa)

So Cheap .... ( 16 year old college girls in India loveeee saying this ... and they arent shopping while saying this .. )

Arreeee (I'd have to say 3 senetences in english to comunicate the same anger than this one worded areee can !)

Setting

Daring

Bomb ..(yeah ..oustide Mithibai college .. this meant something completely non explosive until last week )

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Reason Seven: Bollywood calling

I dont have to explain my SRK screensaver to anyone ever again ! (Nooo ..he's not my boyfriend....he's an actor .. yeah ..he's cute by indian standards) ...

I love the new bollywood! ..love the offbeat movies, the untouched subjects, the social activists with reels and funky new hairstyles.

And I love what it inspires.

Pimped out Jhankar beat rickshaws, Twenty zillion Radio stations with over hyper DJs, Nasal pitched train singing, pirated everything and the latest and greatest bollywolly fashions from Linking road to High Street Phoenix.

First Simi Aunty had her show.

So Karan got his own.

And now Rakhi has one too.

If thats not progress then what is .....

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Reason Eight: Bharat Ek Parivaaaar

I lovveee how I can call everyone Aunty and Uncle. Auntyjee and Unclejee if I really want something badly.

I can call anyone Bhaiya.

I can call anyone Didi.

Afterall it was Nehru who once said .. all Indians are my brothers and sisters.... so all their parents become Auntys and Uncles naaa ?

Bolo Bolo ??

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Reason Nine: Whats in a name ..

Rikshawalla

Dabbawalla

Raddiwalla

Paanwalla

Bhajiwalla

Dodhwalla

Taxiwalla

Fruitwalla

Pest Control Walla

Batliwalla

Biscuitwalla

I think if we decided to come up with a new abridged Hindi Dictionary .. we would run out of spaces adding all these words that we use on a day to day basis ...

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Reason Ten: Jeena Yaha .. Marna Yaha..

You can take the desi out of the des... but you cant take the des out of the Desi.

Himesh remix on I285 in Atlanta

Himesh remix on SV Road

Chai in Marietta

Chai in Bombay

What to do ?

Life is complicated yaaar !

You can only be in one place and one time ... and the time is now and the place is right here !

In the middle of the madness... with bombs that havent been traced ..and terrorists who havent been caught .. with threats of air attacks and mall attacks. ..where Tomorrow may never come ....but I'll take my chances ..because for now - the combined effects of Rahu Ketu and all the planetary influences suggest that "365 days of Thumbs up" is the way to go !

I'm 30 years old.

My city is Mumbai.

Thank God I have enough !