Last Night as I ran my usual 3 miles, I wondered if there was some way that I could run away from all my fears and problems too. Then again, once my feet hit the ground and I start running - I dont really know what I am running towards.
Known devil versus an Unknown ? Pearls of wisdom anyone ? ..
So it got me thinking about the fact that it is my several quirky issues, weird decisions, hard to explain reactions and even harder to comprehend choices that actually define me. And define me far more than the run of the mill predictable things I do in my otherwise often mundane day to day life.
Yet most of I spend my days stressing and my nights grappling with them.
What if someone offered me a choice. A pill. Like Morpheus offered Neo.
A red pill that will answer all my questions (in lieu of ..'What is the Matrix!?!')
A blue pill that will ensure that life goes on as before.
Remember that the red pill ensures the truth and nothing more.
Well - by now I was done with the running and had moved on to the floor.
Truth is these days - toe touching not withstanding - I've been stretched pretty thin. And I was still thinking. A magical solution that would suddenly enlighten me.
The choice that Morpheus offered Neo wasnt far different than the one that Calypso offered Odysseus. Odysseus who also was a inquisitive adventurous traveller - asked his crew to tie him to the mast of his ship and plugged their ears with wax so he could hear the song of the sirens without getting trapped by them. A brave warrior who came up with the idea of the Trojan horse in the battle of Troy. Odysseus arrived on the island of Calypso - she imprisoned him for 7 long years and then offered him immortality if he stayed with her.
Odysseus craved to go back home to his wife Penelope. Calypso offered him eternal youth.and a life worthy of the Gods ....a far cry from the alternative of a normal life, approaching middle age and everyday strife.
Yet Odysseus chose to go home. He rejected immortality.
Suddenly it was clear - somewhere between the gym and the drive home.
Blue Pill works just fine for me.
Identity scores over immortality.
Truth be told, its these day to day misgivings, soul searching brigades, self criticsm parades and frustration that helps me develop a greater undersstanding of "me" the person.
Life isnt meant to be compartmentalised. Good Times and Lean times are all rolled into one.
Just like the mayo you put on a wheat bread sandwich.
Soulful and Sinful. At one time. Only.
If someone randomly came a waved a magic wand and answered all my questions miraculously - apart from the school of logic that says that the journey trumps the destination .. What next ?
Life is meant to be lived like this. Like a car. That goes from gear to gear - back and forth- fast and slow - smooth and spluttery (okay..I'm making up words now..)
If it were any other way - It would be a shame.
And that - is both my curse and my gift.
3 comments:
You seem to be so self-aware! On a different note, the pill system sounds fantastic. A blue pill for me as well...if life is not like as before with the screw-ups and the odd high point, it wouln't be the same
This is crazy insane. I wrote a little post called The Red Pill two days ago, where I was aimlessly rambling about reasons why I would not take the red pill !!!
I for some reason deleted the post and then just now I see yours and I am speechless !!!...
There is a cosmic connection .. I tell you.
First the Dara Torres one and now this...
"If someone randomly came a waved a magic wand and answered all my questions miraculously - What next ?"
That sounds like a convincing argument against the quest for knowledge - both physics and metaphysics. If I knew everything, I would I be bored or would I be a God? :)
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