Trouble unlike freshly brewed coffee does not signal its arrival with a strange bitter sweet smell that can curl your insides if empty.
When things go disproportionately wrong, as they often do...there is nothing I can do but kick my heels back and relax. Sometimes I just have to wait it out. Till the downpour stops and the storm calms down only to disappear just as quickly as it came.
These days - I get points just for breathing in and out.
For making a habit out of trying to make peace with a world that just wont listen.
For sitting at my desk learning to anticipate the exact moment when tears threaten and knowing that taking deep breaths will hold them back just a little longer.
For knowing that running for an hour on the treadmill is the only thing that will take the edge off a day that has caused one too many scars.
For waging a tiring battle in the quest to make it from dawn to nightfall trying to protect my world view.
One of these days - I will wake up and the tide will have turned.
Until then, I must hold on.
Because what I have learned is just when you've written things off and they've hit rock bottom, Life will surprise you.
The million dollar question is - how deep is this rock bottom place exactly ?
I guess I dont know.
So like I said - might as well relax. Cause knowing how fast I'm falling these days - gravity notwithstanding, its going to take one heck of an effort to climb back up. And unfortunately - red and blue suited saviors reside only within colorfully illustrated pages.
The rest of us ..have to do our climbing ourselves.
So I guess my best option is to making a habit out of getting soaked - lest the downpour get the better of me.
And that - I will not have.
Not on my terms anyways.
Not yet anyways.
Amen.
