Words

For someone who writes relentlessly and loves to talk, I'm certainly not a person of a few words. But then again, like most people I'd certainly agree that actions do a lot more talking than most words do. Pauses on the phone and practiced poker looks of indifference all inclusive. Or a warm hug from an old friend - or a firm look in the rear view mirror while driving. Clenched fists or fidgety hands at dinner. Or the look that only someone who understands you really well can decipher from across a crowded room.

Then again, there are certain things that just need to be said. And if they aren't, then the words that connect and make those heart wrenching sentences together instead assimilate and become barriers between friends. There are certain things that we have to admit to ourselves too - things that regardless of what the world realizes and interprets - make us who we are at the end of the day and our hearts are that much lighter only when we say them aloud if only inside our heads.

So yet again - I find myself taking comfort in words.

Words scattered across an assortment of newspapers I read on the long hot commute to work - that remind me of how my life overall has been like the jackpot save for a few over exaggerated blown out of proportion incidents .. how there is so much going on in the world around me even though things seem at a standstill in certain aspects of my own life ..of how people all over from China to America to Russia are learning to deal with the unknown and finding meaning in everyday things that I often take for granted.

Words written in emails that my friends send me. From Atlanta, Tampa, Seattle, Casablanca, Sydney. Words that travel thousands of miles just to make it to my inbox that brighten my world just be the subject lines - that often are "Hi" "Hello" "Wassup" but convey a sense of solidarity and familiarity that only friends know of.

Words that my fellow bloggers post - from Delhi, Kashmir, California, New York, Bangalore, London - each story a world in itself, people whom I know only through their blogs as well as old friends who I learnt to love in new ways through their words.

Words that light up the green screen on my cell phone when close friends call. Even though I may not always be able to pick up the phone but that make me feel understood just by being there in my phones fleeting RAM.

And as the precious few hours of the day draw to an end - words that I read in books - that bring friendly characters that live in far way places into my often uneventful day, whose lives and frustration often mirror my own, whose dreams and loves are my aspiration.

And I cling on to them - all these words that I come across in a given day, I hug them tightly and take solace in them on days like today when I am alone, save for the falling raindrops on a grey June night and hope that one day - not too far from today - I find my voice and someone who can understand me without it - so I can have a conversation without them.