Live for Life

I woke up at 8 am today.
Sat up straight in bed and 30 minutes later - I was in school.
Then I spent 3 hours in the library - 2 hours in class. Grabbed lunch and went back to the library.
Its 1.57 am and I just got back.

I'm tired and my nerves are shot. I'm sleepy and cant think straight.
I've spent an entire day trying to figure something out...I still havent gotten very far.
So I often wonder - in solitude at times such a these - on days like today - Whats my raison d'etre.

The truth is that I've never known what I've been looking for.
So chances are - that even if I find it somehow .. after all the deliberation and exasperation and praying .. I may not even realise it- because I wasnt looking for it in the first place.
Theres a vague possibility that if at all -I am looking for something - I'm looking for myself.
So Sometimes I find myself in the library - like a book on the shelf that everyone walks past - but is just waiting for its story to be told.
At other times - I'm in the smiles between strangers who dont know that they are going to be very good friends someday.
I'm the raindrops that fall on bright umbrellas -trying to reflect the very color they yearn to possess.
And I'm like the noisy keys on the keyboard - that if played in the right order can produce magic but if not can be detrimental.
Yet at other times - I'm like a question - on a test or a quiz which unfortunately has no one right answer.
Or like a cloud in the sky that doesnt know its shape-purpose-calling but is still on a journey guided by the skies.
But on nights like today - when the moonlight makes it hard to disguise anything -
I am myself.
Sleepy. Tired. Mellow. Hopeful. Waiting Patiently.
For tomorrow.
For another shot at life.
For another 7.30 alarm to wake me up so I can tell my story on a new day in a new way.
Good Night.