I wake up in the morning and I wonder
Why ev'rything's the same as it was.
I can't understand, no I can't understand
How life goes on the way it does
Vonda Shepard
Have you ever seen someone and you just didn't understand why they did the things they did and said the things they said and thought to yourself - I wonder what her problem is ?
Well - this side of the world - I know exactly what my problem is.
The eternal quest for sunshine.
They say that half of the people who mess up the world - do that while actually trying to make things better. Sometimes its just best to let status quo be status quo. Its the law of averages - question of balance and whatever you may.
I wish I'd known this in February - I wish I'd known this while making the craziest decision of my adult life.
The unfortunate part is - that no matter how much literature you read that tells you to appreciate a good thing when you have it - live in the moment - present is a gift and what not - the only way to really learn what that means - is to let go of a good thing ..maybe of the best thing you ever had in your life ...in search something supposedly much better and get your heart broken, your spirit shattered and your world spun around in the process.
I've had my lesson in leaving this year.
So while I pick up pieces of my life and try to make sense of the jigsaw puzzle that everything seems to have been - my one and single prayer to the cosmos on this rainy july night - when unfortunately everything is actually as bleak as it seems .. is for J K Rowling.
I hope you knew what I found out the hard way when you wrote the hollows.
I hope you let Harry live.
Because from where I stand - If I pick up my copy in 21 days and find out that Harry - even after his crazy mind numbing brave battles..losing his good friends ...almost dying and yet trying to survive ...falls to the dark lord.....just because you too- like me couldnt see too much of a good thing - I wont have anything to write about anymore.
I hope you let Harry live.
For his sake and for mine.
3 comments:
craziest decision.....
im sure that at the end of the year u will not want to leave this place....you will leave with a heavy haeart and a bagful of great memories!!!!!
I want to be able to give it to my kids and say, "here is about a boy, who lost everything he loved and still had the heart and courage to live and love". If Harry Dies, Hope dies. For your sake and mine, Harry will not just live , but thrive :)
keep the faith.
i go back and forth with what I want for Harry. when I'm happy, i think i can handle him dying; when i'm sad, i think i can't handle it. i've already prepped my therapist for the end. i'm a dork! we've discussed me being enamored of the books and why i am so invested. i'll take what i can, but i will read with much anticipation and not a little trepidation.
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