Chasing Cars

There are some decisions that you make just once in life time. The kind of choices that you have waged battles about - only in your mind. And then one day - You have to act on those thoughts.
Yesterday -in conversation about my recent life changes - a friend showed me the pale green tiled floor in a restaurant and said - that it was like I was standing on one tile and I had jumped to another - all inside my mind ..what then ?
How could I stop my mind from jumping back to the first one.

There are times when I know the answers to the most basic questions. Clearly not today - not one of these days.
Its said that every once in a lifetime - you make a decision - purely on your instinct.
One that is deemed heroic if things work out ..and labelled insane if they don't.
I've made mine.
I lived it for every day of the three weeks I was packing.
But I didn't realise how precarious my inner balance was till I stepped out onto a mad hustling north Bombay street yesterday afternoon to get some thumbs up back home and I had to quite literally walk on a wooden plank over a "under construction" road to get to the store.

Inside my mind - I had been walking a tightrope for a much longer time.

The reality is that -
It is hard to let go.
It is even harder to be the one that is gone.
But the hardest - most exhausting thing of all - is to be the one left behind.
And it is possible to be all three at the same time.

So I choose which tile I want to stand on.
The earth has been moving around in circles for eons - so its only fair that I can do the same until I find my sun.
One year - 365 days.
Every day - a short story with a happy ending. It has to be that way.
How I spend my days - is going to be how I spend my life.
I hope I choose well.