Conversation

Its definately one of those nights.
More questions. No answers.
Glass is half full and the water inside it slowly evaporating in the sultry Bombay heat.
What is fate ? What is faith ? and what does it mean to me on a personal basis ?

If your plan for me is my fate and my ability to believe in the goodness of it - my faith

then how is it possible to believe in you at times when I dont believe in myself ?

Its on days like this when I come to see you.

More so ever on days like today where my belief system is not just sketchy but virtually smashed.

When I show up at the grand altars - to say that I may not agree with you, I may not see reason and I may not even seek solace ..but I will still promise to show up.

Because - There have been many times when I have made poor choices and decisions that have impacted not just my life but also that of others around me adversely. And even during those times - You still showed up.

Its like being in love I think.... Just harder, since I'm here, mortal and rampant in my imperfections.

Nights like this one, I'm glad you planned for me to be more of a writer than a painter.

It would be hard to see what I would do with a brush tonight instead of a keyboard.

I'm 30 years old and my city in Mumbai.

Thank God I have enough.