Someone very French once said "Plus ça change, plus c’est pareil.." ...for the rest of us it means that the more things change ..the more is it that they remain the same. I guess its taken a while for me to realise that this is applicable for the rest of us not born in Bordeaux or Marseilles.
So when I refer to Coke as "Soda" and still call Iced Tea "Sweet Tea" ..and draw weird looks for my fellow mumbaites, I know deep in my heart whats at work. At other times, when I start the wipers instead of the headlights or the sign indicators - its less amusing.
My driving school instructor is Hussain. Hussain is extremely profound. When I stop in mind boggling traffic to let people pass by (come to a screeching halt worthy of a week long whiplash injury is mor like it ..but ohh well) ...he says " Madam ..ab aane wale ko kaun rok sakta hai"
= " Who can stop anyone who wants to pass"...and says wonderful movie worthy sentences like
"Dheere se clutch release kijiye ..aur pyaaar se accelerator deejeye" = "Release the clutch slowly and press the accelerator lovingly" ....and so on the class continues. First day a team of 4 dogs decided to play catch -catch in front of my car. The second day, a radioactive rooster flew out of nowhere and landed one centimeter away from my wheels" ... so Hussain says "Madam ..yeh animal log bahut pyaar karta hai aapse" = "These animals love you very much looks like" ...and when I put my car in reverse gear he frowned and said .."Gear naa..style se change karna mangta hai" = "Gears should always be changed in great style" ..and then proceeded to show me with great aplomb how to change gears fashionably ...
I guess it doesnt need any saying ...but I lovveeeee my driving class.
It makes the humid mumbai summer and an hour long dust bath ...worth every penny of it!
Last week I kidnapped a friend and took him to the museum. It was the price he had to pay for taking me out to eat lunch and after I placed my order ..telling the waiter to make it "low calorie"
Prince of Wales Museum is now called Chaatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Vastu Sanghralaya"
It got me thinking....how much of our identities and personalities are related to our names. What if my name was something completely different. Would I be a changed person ? .
.I am guessing. ...maybe ..
I also happened to go to a store to buy some clothes and a very rude customer service rep told me that I needed to look at a bigger size...right in front of three extremely skinny 20 year olds who promptly giggled... When he saw my aghast face ..he said .. "I guess if you are buying a gift for someone else ..you can look at this section" ... so I pretended to buy a gift for like 5 minutes and then asked him what the next size was ..and he said .."Ohh ..we dont carry a bigger size" ...
!@#$% !.....Seriously ...I mean Seriously ...... ?!
Bombay is as energized as ever. I go running every morning in a garden called "Sardar Vallabhai Patel Udyaan" ...and the first day I was very excited at my form and speed only to realise I was the only person under 50 years of age in that park. ..never mind... so much for my idle fantasies of becoming an Olympic triathlon wild card entry winner .....
Planning a vacation for one person has its own light moments. I sat with a travel agent for an hour listening to her spin a wild love story about a week long tour in Italy ...and tried to make her realise that I wasnt interested time and again ...but after 40 minutes of getting nowhere I got desperate ..and must have made all kinds of noises/faces ..she finally took a minute to breathe and I dropped my bomb ..."I'm travelling A-L-O-N-E. I dont think that me sitting by myself in a gondola in venice with a bar of chocolate for company is going to be a good vacation"
Next. ...we are still trying to find a place where I can travel A-L-O-N-E.
Lol! ... She did suggest a fabulous trip to the Arctic Circle ...but I think if I cant handle a gondola ..then fat chance I can do a crusie ship ! ...I think at this point in my life ..me and Bridget Jones ..we would have been good friends.
So now she asked for a letter stating my intent to travel signed by both my parents. Called the ticketing guy to ask for booking air tickets ..and I'm listening to a conversation they are having.
My travel agent is saying " ..Ya ya ...just one ticket ...single passenger ...ya ..ya ... she is travelling alone ...no-no ..doesnt have a husband ...all alone..." ......Three Cheers for making your customer feel happy ! ...seriously ....if it wasnt this funny ...it would have been very very seriously sad ... lol!!
Bombay has been amazing so far. Like a bar of bittersweet chocolate. Something or someone always surprises me every day. Sometimes the results are disastrous but then again ..whats a good ride without a few speed bumps that slow you down so you can enjoy the scenery better.
I guess like an iconic rockstar once said emphatiocally ....
Every day is a winding road....I guess I get a little closer to feeling fine :)
So when I refer to Coke as "Soda" and still call Iced Tea "Sweet Tea" ..and draw weird looks for my fellow mumbaites, I know deep in my heart whats at work. At other times, when I start the wipers instead of the headlights or the sign indicators - its less amusing.
My driving school instructor is Hussain. Hussain is extremely profound. When I stop in mind boggling traffic to let people pass by (come to a screeching halt worthy of a week long whiplash injury is mor like it ..but ohh well) ...he says " Madam ..ab aane wale ko kaun rok sakta hai"
= " Who can stop anyone who wants to pass"...and says wonderful movie worthy sentences like
"Dheere se clutch release kijiye ..aur pyaaar se accelerator deejeye" = "Release the clutch slowly and press the accelerator lovingly" ....and so on the class continues. First day a team of 4 dogs decided to play catch -catch in front of my car. The second day, a radioactive rooster flew out of nowhere and landed one centimeter away from my wheels" ... so Hussain says "Madam ..yeh animal log bahut pyaar karta hai aapse" = "These animals love you very much looks like" ...and when I put my car in reverse gear he frowned and said .."Gear naa..style se change karna mangta hai" = "Gears should always be changed in great style" ..and then proceeded to show me with great aplomb how to change gears fashionably ...
I guess it doesnt need any saying ...but I lovveeeee my driving class.
It makes the humid mumbai summer and an hour long dust bath ...worth every penny of it!
Last week I kidnapped a friend and took him to the museum. It was the price he had to pay for taking me out to eat lunch and after I placed my order ..telling the waiter to make it "low calorie"
Prince of Wales Museum is now called Chaatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Vastu Sanghralaya"
It got me thinking....how much of our identities and personalities are related to our names. What if my name was something completely different. Would I be a changed person ? .
.I am guessing. ...maybe ..
I also happened to go to a store to buy some clothes and a very rude customer service rep told me that I needed to look at a bigger size...right in front of three extremely skinny 20 year olds who promptly giggled... When he saw my aghast face ..he said .. "I guess if you are buying a gift for someone else ..you can look at this section" ... so I pretended to buy a gift for like 5 minutes and then asked him what the next size was ..and he said .."Ohh ..we dont carry a bigger size" ...
!@#$% !.....Seriously ...I mean Seriously ...... ?!
Bombay is as energized as ever. I go running every morning in a garden called "Sardar Vallabhai Patel Udyaan" ...and the first day I was very excited at my form and speed only to realise I was the only person under 50 years of age in that park. ..never mind... so much for my idle fantasies of becoming an Olympic triathlon wild card entry winner .....
Planning a vacation for one person has its own light moments. I sat with a travel agent for an hour listening to her spin a wild love story about a week long tour in Italy ...and tried to make her realise that I wasnt interested time and again ...but after 40 minutes of getting nowhere I got desperate ..and must have made all kinds of noises/faces ..she finally took a minute to breathe and I dropped my bomb ..."I'm travelling A-L-O-N-E. I dont think that me sitting by myself in a gondola in venice with a bar of chocolate for company is going to be a good vacation"
Next. ...we are still trying to find a place where I can travel A-L-O-N-E.
Lol! ... She did suggest a fabulous trip to the Arctic Circle ...but I think if I cant handle a gondola ..then fat chance I can do a crusie ship ! ...I think at this point in my life ..me and Bridget Jones ..we would have been good friends.
So now she asked for a letter stating my intent to travel signed by both my parents. Called the ticketing guy to ask for booking air tickets ..and I'm listening to a conversation they are having.
My travel agent is saying " ..Ya ya ...just one ticket ...single passenger ...ya ..ya ... she is travelling alone ...no-no ..doesnt have a husband ...all alone..." ......Three Cheers for making your customer feel happy ! ...seriously ....if it wasnt this funny ...it would have been very very seriously sad ... lol!!
Bombay has been amazing so far. Like a bar of bittersweet chocolate. Something or someone always surprises me every day. Sometimes the results are disastrous but then again ..whats a good ride without a few speed bumps that slow you down so you can enjoy the scenery better.
I guess like an iconic rockstar once said emphatiocally ....
Every day is a winding road....I guess I get a little closer to feeling fine :)
6 comments:
Lovely!
hahaha.. u chose the right driv school.. i can imagine u saying.. gear na style se change karna .. hahaha..
and the cust serv rep is still alive..
you know a great city to be Alone? London! It's wonderfully carefree, and totally Bindaas! ... Oh wait! ins't that just like Bombay? erm...and you need a vacation from that. nevermind.
Girl, can you write or what! Love the way you pen - 'an hour long dust bath' - smart witty stuff and fun to read!
Btw, looks like u n I visited the renamed Sanghralaya around the same time - I dragged my brother after bribing him with a new pet!
Sometimes, I find it uncanny how much in parallel our lives seem to be! I'm moving to Gurgaon in 2 weeks..
Now, this post makes me feel that Mumbaites are closer to Bollywood!!
Indeed a hilarious post.
Cheers!!
did you find a place yet? can suggest some :)
- a fellow travel junkie
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